Oh god dammit. It happened again. I woke up today and, I swear this is not pretend, I was two inches tall, barely as big as two quarters. If I tried to get off my bed I’d fall, but thank God for file sorters. I leapt down and pointed my teeny tiny little legs Into the first folder, to the physics god I begged. They slid on each side of the folder before I reached the bottom After this I felt a little bolder, and I was grateful the effects weren’t quantum. Still though, a huge inconvenience, last time this happened it took months for my arms to grow back even. I had to start my day, even at two inches tall. But now even a simple task like coffee had become impossible to do at all. What to do, what to do. So I managed to pop open my car door, it took quite a bit of brute strength. Then I got in the drivers seat and forgot once more, to reach the pedals my legs would need length. I grabbed a snow brush from the back and wedged it onto the gas. I jerry rigged the car so that my set up would last. With barely any sight on the road, I managed to make it there to the grocery store. I hopped out of the car and faced a dilemma once more. I grabbed that big old cart, heavy as could be And rolled it down the produce aisle, past the fruits and veggies. There’s a tiny door near there, for people with my condition and smarts. You’ll never see a teeny tiny section pop up at WalMart. (That’s for sure.) I rolled my big cart over and filled it with teeny small items. Once I caught the ones that fell and moved them off of the bottom, I was on my way to checkout with one problem. I didn’t have my wallet. It was still regular sized at home. I’d wished deeply I could call it, but it’s a wallet not a phone. Thankfully, they were doing a discount that day, a hundred percent off. If you come in the store looking or feeling particularly small. I made my way out the door, as much of a struggle as that was. I ran out the door to the car, as fast as my little legs would allow. Cars were stopped watching my big grocery bag drag along the ground. But the bag stayed in tact, and I got in my car. I drove all the way back and dined on what I had just obtained through the bizarre. But like I said, this happens, oh, every so often. Something triggers me and I wake up no bigger than a weed pen. Oh my god, I just realized, my carts would last much longer. Not the grocery carts of course but the weed kind with effects much stronger. So there I was, with my little meal, puffing on my giant cartridge. I think I’m starting to get bigger now, I’m in my space, the effects are now departing. Still though I have to wonder The cause of it, it’s alarming. Honey, I shrunk myself, that much is true. But it’s safe to say, even at that size, I’ll make do.
