Wowsers In Your Trousers

classic rock, blues metal, progressive rock

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V5.5

[Verse 1 chords (5/4, blues rock with bite) Key: E minor
| Em7 | G | D | B7#9 | | Em | G | A | D/F# |]

Don’t you touch me with those hands, 
There’s no tellin’ where they’ve been. 
You used to call yourself my man, 
But that was way back when. 
You stroll in grinnin’ like a king, 
But you ain’t wearin’ any crown. 
I see that look, that little swing 
Boy, you better settle down.

[Chorus (11/8, driving, anthemic, classic rock punch) Feel: big, stomping, sarcastic power
| G | D | Em | C | | G | D | B7 | Em |]

Think ya got wowsers in your trousers? 
That’s just ants in your pants. 
Go home and take a few cold showers, 
This ain’t the time for romance. 
You keep on struttin’, full of power, 
But you ain’t got a chance. 
Think ya got wowsers in your trousers? 
Honey, that’s just ants.

[Verse 2 chords (5/4, blues rock with bite) Key: E minor
| Em7 | G | D | B7#9 | | Em | G | A | D/F# |]
Don’t come here knockin’ at my door 
When someone shuts you down.
I ain’t your fallback anymore, 
I ain’t your lost and found. 
You think your charm can reel me in, 
But I ain’t bitin’ on that line. 
You better wipe off that grin
 ’Cause you ain’t lookin’ fine.

[Bridge (17/16, darker, blues metal tension) Feel: smoky, accusatory
| Am | C | Em | B7 | | Am | C | D | Em |]

I could smell her cheap perfume 
The moment you walked in. 
My bed just ain’t got any room 
Knowin’ where you been. 
You think you’re slick, you think you’re smooth,
 But baby, here’s the truth 
You ain’t the man you used to be, 
And I ain’t missin’ you.

[Guitar Solo (Guitar bends into grit, then slide shimmer over 11/8 - 17/16 shift, with toms tumbling underneath and Minimoog bass snarling in counterpoint.)
| Em | G | D | B7#9 | | C | G/B | Am | B7 | Em |]

[Outro (11/8, driving, anthemic, classic rock punch) Feel: big, stomping, sarcastic power
| G | D | Em | C | | G | D | B7 | Em |]

Think ya got wowsers in your trousers? 
That’s just ants in your pants. 
Go home and take a few cold showers, 
This ain’t the time for romance. 
You keep on dreamin’ you’ve got power, 
But you ain’t got a chance. 
Think ya got wowsers in your trousers? 
Honey… that’s just ants. 
Just ants.

3222/7500

© 2026 River of Sighs Riffs. All rights reserved. This is an original composition. No part of this work may be reproduced, distributed, or used without express written permission [Classic Rock/Metal] [Power female vocals fusing rock, folk, and metal by mixing heavy-metal belting with delicate, operatic control, deep emotional intensity, and forward-placed resonance and vibrato. Vocal harmonies on chorus and outro] [rubato 5/4, 11/8, 17/16 110-180 BPM] [The Band: Electric guitars sustain, bends, melodic phrasing, grit, blues attack lead, and open tuned slide guitar shimmer. Gated snares with explosive accents, polyrhythmic tom patterns driving. Melodic bass guitar weaving counter lines. Rhythm guitar triads, suspended chords, double stops heavy distortion and precise, percussive palm muting.] [FX: Analog synths: EMS Synthi AKS textures, Minimoog (fat bass and leads), Prophet 5 warm pads and analog brass. Spectrasonics Omnisphere 2 for Cavernous stadium echo, long-tail reverb and delay, long echoes, reverse reverb swells, and wide stereo imaging.] [Verse 1 chords (5/4, blues rock with bite) Key: E minor | Em7 | G | D | B7#9 | | Em | G | A | D/F# |] Don’t you touch me with those hands, There’s no tellin’ where they’ve been. You used to call yourself my man, But that was way back when. You stroll in grinnin’ like a king, But you ain’t wearin’ any crown. I see that look, that little swing Boy, you better settle down. [Chorus (11/8, driving, anthemic, classic rock punch) Feel: big, stomping, sarcastic power | G | D | Em | C | | G | D | B7 | Em |] Think ya got wowsers in your trousers? That’s just ants in your pants. Go home and take a few cold showers, This ain’t the time for romance. You keep on struttin’, full of power, But you ain’t got a chance. Think ya got wowsers in your trousers? Honey, that’s just ants. [Verse 2 chords (5/4, blues rock with bite) Key: E minor | Em7 | G | D | B7#9 | | Em | G | A | D/F# |] Don’t come here knockin’ at my door When someone shuts you down. I ain’t your fallback anymore, I ain’t your lost and found. You think your charm can reel me in, But I ain’t bitin’ on that line. You better wipe off that grin ’Cause you ain’t lookin’ fine. [Bridge (17/16, darker, blues metal tension) Feel: smoky, accusatory | Am | C | Em | B7 | | Am | C | D | Em |] I could smell her cheap perfume The moment you walked in. My bed just ain’t got any room Knowin’ where you been. You think you’re slick, you think you’re smooth, But baby, here’s the truth You ain’t the man you used to be, And I ain’t missin’ you. [Guitar Solo (Guitar bends into grit, then slide shimmer over 11/8 - 17/16 shift, with toms tumbling underneath and Minimoog bass snarling in counterpoint.) | Em | G | D | B7#9 | | C | G/B | Am | B7 | Em |] [Outro (11/8, driving, anthemic, classic rock punch) Feel: big, stomping, sarcastic power | G | D | Em | C | | G | D | B7 | Em |] Think ya got wowsers in your trousers? That’s just ants in your pants. Go home and take a few cold showers, This ain’t the time for romance. You keep on dreamin’ you’ve got power, But you ain’t got a chance. Think ya got wowsers in your trousers? Honey… that’s just ants. Just ants.

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