[WAITRESS — COULD I GET ANOTHER ONE? HOLD THE ICE, SWEETHEART — MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I ONLY HAD TWO] [Instrumental Intro — cheesy electric piano swells, finger snaps, brushed cymbal wash] [Verse 1] She walked in... she walked in around... [laughs under breath] 'round midnight I was nursing a soda — no, that's a lie — it was whiskey and spite Her heels click-clacked on the tile [finger snap] like a heartbeat I'd forgotten And I thought to myself... I thought... [long pause] what was I saying? Right. She was everything the neon couldn't touch [Spoken — slurred] That's a good line, somebody write that down. No? Nobody? Tough room. [Chorus] I loved her in a — in a way that don't make sense to sober minds [stretches "sober" into three syllables] She was a stiff drink and I was running out of time — [laughs] — TIME I loved her like a gambler loves the table after midnight Holding onto nothin' with both hands... [spoken, quieter] both hands, baby [Saxophone fill — sleazy, drawn-out] [Verse 2] She said my name... she said my name like... [snaps fingers repeatedly trying to find rhythm] Like a question she already knew the answer to And the band just kept on playing — [gestures at band] — God love 'em, professionals While I stood there in the — the... the what's the word... [mumbles] spotlight Trying to remember how many verses this song has [Spoken] Is it two? Lemme check... [pats pockets] I don't have the sheet music. Truckin' along, folks! [Chorus — more slurred, more dramatic] I loved her in a way that don't — don't make no sense to anyone who's never been — [laughs] — bankrupt She was a slow song in a fast world and I was... I was... [snaps fingers repeatedly]... losin' the beat I loved her like the last call loves the lonely Holding onto nothin' with both hands — [spoken, barely audible] still holding [Key change — one half-step up, unnecessarily dramatic] [Bridge — overdone vocal run, almost crying] And if I could go back... [long pause, sips drink audibly] If I could... if I could find the right key... I'd tell her... [saxophone plays softly under] I'd tell her I'm sorry... about the... the thing with the... her car... [spoken] She knows what I'm talkin' about. We don't gotta... we don't gotta say it. [Guitar solo — one note, held too long, fizzles out] [Spoken] This next part... this next part is the... the emotional climax. I feel it in my — [gestures vaguely] — in my spirit region. [Final Chorus — barely holding it together, genuine emotion peeking through the mess] I loved her... [nodding slowly]... yep. I loved her In a way that the morning always regrets She was the tab I couldn't close out And I'm still... [drummer hits a rim shot]... I'm still running up the bill [Spoken — to the band] Good, good. That was... that was good. We'll take five. Or... we'll take a drink. Same thing. [Piano outro — one last cheesy run, then silence] [Spoken — very quiet, to himself] My daddy always said I'd end up singin' to a half-empty room at two in the mornin'. He was right. Bless his heart.
