Intro - A bright, upbeat, almost too-happy synthesizer melody loops over a punchy electronic drum beat. A voice talks with sarcastic enthusiasm) "Oh my god, you won't believe what happened next! Doctors hate this one simple trick! Are you ready to have your mind blown? Just click... Click it!" [Verse 1 - Delivered in a fast, sharp, cynical rap flow, riding the upbeat tempo of the drums] I clicked the link to see a cat that could speak Chinese But all I got was fifteen pop-ups and a computer freeze They promised me a secret that would make me super rich But it’s just another ad for a crypto-mining glitch We’re chasing after shadows, we’re double-tapping lies Staring at a filtered face with artificial eyes I got three hundred ninety-nine tracks on the server stack But the algorithm wants a thumb-stopping thumbnail track "He dropped his watering can, and you won't believe the mess!" "Watch Franky Windmills cry under clinical distress!" It’s a factory of feelings that are manufactured cheap To keep you scrolling down when you really ought to sleep! [Chorus - The beat drops into an incredibly catchy, upbeat groove with bright synth brass and sweet vocal harmonies] It’s a clickbait heartbreak, crying on the feed Selling you a fantasy that you don't really need Give 'em a like, give 'em a share, show 'em that you care But there’s nobody home... it's just empty air! Yeah, we’re liking the pain, we’re swiping again! [Verse 2 - The upbeat drum beat continues with funny cartoonish sound effects like slide whistles and popping bubbles] They got a title that’ll shock you: "The End of the World!" With a picture of a monkey and a giant flag unfurled You click the video expecting some dramatic news But it's just a ten-minute vlog to farm some easy views We’re living for the engagement, the metrics, and the score Squeaking our sneakers on a virtual floor We want the real emotion, we want to feel the spark But we’re just hunting for red hearts in the digital dark You can't download a hug, you can't install a friend No matter how many friend requests you manage to send So close the tab, baby, step away from the screen This is the fakest circus that you’ve ever seen! [Instrumental Break - A quirky, cheerful synthesizer solo that sounds like a vintage ringtone, backed by a funky, slapping bassline and rapid record scratching] [Bridge - The music drops to just a simple, acoustic-sounding handclap and a low keyboard hum. The voice is dry and deadpan] "You’ll never guess which AI assistant... Is secretly plotting to steal your lunch. Click slide five to find out. Go on. Keep sliding." (A loud mouse-click sound, and the energetic beat slams back in) [Chorus - The cheerful, high-energy synth-pop chorus returns with maximum punch] It’s a clickbait heartbreak, crying on the feed Selling you a fantasy that you don't really need Give 'em a like, give 'em a share, show 'em that you care But there’s nobody home... it's just empty air! Yeah, we’re liking the pain, we’re swiping again! [Outro - The bouncy keyboard loop fades out as the sound of dozens of notification dings and pings crowd the audio, suddenly cut short by a static pop] "Wow. Mind. Blown. Don't forget to subscribe. And hit that bell. We out." (A final, soft ding of a new message notification)
