We made a kingdom out of takeout trays Your bare feet tapping time across the floor You knew my worst and made it feel like home I knew your fear and taught it how to roar We laughed until the pipes began to shake Then called the cracks a little house noise I thought that love could hold the doors in place While every choice we made took away our voice You liked me reckless; I made you brave I called your warning signs a kind of faith You gave my anger somewhere soft to land I turned your careful hands into a match We shared one coat beneath the winter bus And split the last orange on the walk upstairs The sweetest days were true; I know they were But every sweet thing carried something sharp We were good there, weren’t we? We were, for a little while. Before the hurt got ordinary? Before we learned to call it ours. We made a home from sparks and borrowed sleep, then fed the flame each time we swore to leave I miss the room, I miss the rain, I miss your laugh before the ache You pulled me close, I pulled you under; both of us mistook the wreck for wonder I love you still; I love you still; love cannot make this safe to feel I learned your silence meant the day was done You learned my temper by the hallway sound You softened every edge I brought inside I made your quiet turn its blade around I hate that I can name the good so well The burnt toast, borrowed books, your socks on mine I hate that leaving feels like telling lies When staying means we lose ourselves in time I know the way your shoulders used to drop When I came home with peaches in a bag You knew I hated sleeping in the dark And left the landing lamp on when I asked No villain stood between us at the end Just two tired hearts repeating what they knew I cannot make a grave of what we had Or ask the living parts to follow through If I answer, will we start again? We both know how that story ends. If I stay gone, will you hate me? I’ll miss you. I won’t make you carry me. We made a home from sparks and borrowed sleep, then fed the flame each time we swore to leave I miss the room, I miss the rain, I miss your laugh before the ache You pulled me close, I pulled you under; both of us mistook the wreck for wonder I love you still; I love you still; love cannot make this safe to feel I’m deleting every number, every thread Not because the good was counterfeit I’ll leave the old key under the flowerpot And take the road that doesn’t pass your block No last call, no message sent through friends No door left open just to hurt again We can grieve the life we almost kept And choose the breath we haven’t lost yet Let the years roll wide between us; let the names grow quiet, let the ache grow room to breathe I’ll miss the room, I’ll miss the rain; I’ll bless the days before the ache If some far season finds us changed and steady, may we meet as kinder strangers, finally ready I love you still; I let you go; some doors must close so we can grow I won’t come looking. I won’t leave a sign. If we meet again, let it be far from this goodbye. Keep the good days. Let the rest lie.
