縫い目の魔法 ～この袖が覚えている～ ( The Magic in Every Stitch - What These Sleeves Remember - )

画面の中で揺れていた あの袖を　着てみたかった ノートの隅に描くたび 細かな飾りまで覚えた I wanted to wear those sleeves I’d watched swaying on the screen Each time I sketched them in my notebook I learned every little detail by heart はじめて買った布を広げ 部屋の床が見えなくなる ハサミを入れるその前に 何度も線を確かめた I spread out the first fabric I’d ever bought Until it covered my bedroom floor Before making that first cut I checked the lines again and again 曲がった糸をほどくうち 窓の向こうが明るくなる 袖はまだ片方だけ それでも　続きを縫いたかった As I unpicked my crooked stitches The sky outside began to brighten I’d only finished a single sleeve Still, I wanted to keep sewing 誰かになるため縫った服が わたしの輪郭をつくっていた ほどいて　縫って　また間違えて それでもここまで作ってきた The clothes I sewed to become someone else Were shaping who I was Unpicking, sewing, making mistakes again Still, I’d made it this far 鏡の前で袖を通す 思っていたより重かった 少し傾く胸の星を 憧れと同じ場所に留めた I slipped it on before the mirror It felt heavier than I’d imagined The star on my chest tilted a little I pinned it right where my hero wore hers 鞄の中で折れないよう 衣装をそっと抱えていた 駅のガラスに映る顔 いつもより口数が減った I cradled the costume in its bag Careful not to bend what I had made My face reflected in the station glass I was quieter than usual 会場前で立ち止まり 袖の端を握りしめる 帰ろうかなと下を向く 靴の先に　裾が揺れた I stopped outside the venue Clutching the edge of my sleeve Maybe I should go home, I thought, looking down The hem swayed just beyond my shoes うまく笑えるかわからない 似合っているかもわからない だけど　この衣装を着て 今日はここに立ってみたい I don’t know if I can smile naturally I don’t even know if it suits me But today, wearing this costume I want to try standing here 誰かになるため縫った服が わたしの輪郭をつくっていた 震える指で整えた袖 裏には何度も縫った跡 The clothes I sewed to become someone else Were shaping who I was I straightened my sleeve with trembling fingers Inside were the marks of every try 怖いままでも　顔を上げた 扉の向こうへ足を出した 誰かがこちらを見て笑う 小さく会釈を返してみた Still afraid, I lifted my head And stepped through the doorway Someone looked my way and smiled I tried returning a little nod 『写真、いいですか』 わたしですかと　顔を上げた 胸の星に　そっと触れて あの人のように　笑ってみた “May I take your photo?” “Me?” I asked, looking up I gently touched the star on my chest And tried smiling the way she did あの夜　針を置かなくてよかった I’m so glad I didn’t put down my needle that night 誰かになるため縫った服が わたしの輪郭をつくっていた 不揃いな目をひとつひとつ なぞれば　あの夜を思い出す The clothes I sewed to become someone else Were shaping who I was Tracing each uneven stitch Brings me back to that night ただ　この衣装を着てみたかった その気持ちで　ここまで来た 写真の中で笑うわたしを もう少し見ていたくなった I simply wanted to wear this costume That feeling brought me all this way Seeing myself smiling in the photo I wanted to look a little longer 衣装を脱いで　そっと掛ける 鏡の前には　いつものわたし 髪についた糸を取って もう一度だけ　笑ってみた I took off the costume and gently hung it up There in the mirror was my everyday self I picked a stray thread from my hair And tried smiling one more time