[Verse 1] Used to be a champ at the 9-to-5, Now I get winded just staying alive. HR sent flowers, and then a form— "Can you turn in your uniform?" Tried to file for disability pay, They said, “Try yoga, and you’ll be okay!” My doctor blinked, said, “It’s all in your head,” So I told him "!FUCK YOU!" instead. [Pre-Chorus] I cough through Zoom, I wheeze through sleep, My heart’s on shuffle, my thoughts too deep. The CDC just ghosted me— I guess I’m patient mystery! [Chorus] 🎤 I’m permanent out of office, My inbox is full of lies. “Get well soon!” from Becky, While she skydives in Dubai. Parents say you're just lazy, Strangers whisper, "he's just crazy" But I’m more ghost than goth now, Yet my patience isn’t daisy! [Verse 2] Stared at the fridge for forty-five minutes, Forgot what food is—can I get a witness? Applied for aid, form 32-Z, Asked for a soul, they sent me a fee. I’ve got brain fog thicker than punk eyeliner, And my joints pop more than vinyl diners. Tried acupuncture, kombucha too Now I’m broke and smell like bamboo. [Bridge – spoken like a rant] Oh, you “don’t see the problem”? Yeah, neither do I Because light sensitivity’s a whole damn vibe. Medical gaslight? That’s my genre. Insurance hold music? That’s my jam. [Breakdown – raw & fast] My body’s a sitcom, but the laugh track’s gone, And the credits roll on... and on... and on. Can’t dance, can’t run, can’t fake that grin— But I can scream, so let’s begin: [Final Chorus – shout it out] 🎤 I’m permanent out of office, But my rage is still on call! Sick but savage, broke but loud— A medical miracle with gall. If you see me limping past, Offer snacks, not your advice— ‘Cause I’ve got chronic coolness now, And I charge by the slice. [Outro – fading with attitude] Long COVID’s got me sideways, But I’m still spitting rhyme. They took my youth, but not my spite— I’ll be punk ‘til overtime.
