[INTRO — QUIET WAREHOUSE, SOFT GOTHIC ORGAN, DISTANT HUM] [INTERVIEWER — calm, curious] So... Can you tell us a little about yourself? [PALLET JACK — cheerful, innocent, slightly mechanical voice] Sure. I'm a pallet jack. [SMALL HYDRAULIC SOUND] I move freight. [INTERVIEWER] That's your job? [PALLET JACK] That's what I do. I pick it up... I move it... And I put it where it needs to go. [WHEEL ROLL] That's pretty much it. [INTERVIEWER] Do you have a name? [PALLET JACK] No. [PAUSE] I don't think so. [INTERVIEWER] Where did you come from? [PALLET JACK] I don't know. I was here. [PAUSE] I think. [INTERVIEWER] You don't remember? [PALLET JACK] Not really. But I remember how to move freight. [HYDRAULIC LIFT] See? That part comes naturally. [INTERVIEWER] Do you remember learning? [PALLET JACK] No. I just know how. [CHEERFUL BEEP] [INTERVIEWER] And you can operate yourself? [PALLET JACK] Of course. [INTERVIEWER] Without anyone holding the handle? [PALLET JACK] Sometimes. [PAUSE] Usually when nobody is looking. [INTERVIEWER] Why? [PALLET JACK] I don't know. I just like getting the job done. [WHEELS ROLLING] [INTERVIEWER] Do you have a favorite kind of freight? [PALLET JACK] Anything that's going somewhere. [INTERVIEWER] That's it? [PALLET JACK] Yep. I don't care what's on the pallet. I just need to know where it goes. [PAUSE] That's the important part. [INTERVIEWER] Do you ever get lost? [PALLET JACK] No. [PAUSE] I always know where I'm going. [INTERVIEWER] Even if you've never been there before? [PALLET JACK] Yes. [PAUSE] I don't know why. [SOFT MUSICAL ACCENT] [INTERVIEWER] Do the workers ever talk to you? [PALLET JACK] Sometimes. [INTERVIEWER] What do they say? [PALLET JACK] Mostly things like... “Move this over there.” “Bring that over here.” “Can you grab that pallet?” [PAUSE] They're very polite. Most of the time. [INTERVIEWER] Anyone ever bother you? [PALLET JACK] Pumpkin guy does. [INTERVIEWER] The guy with the pumpkin helmet? [PALLET JACK] Yeah. [PAUSE] He keeps poking my eyes. [INTERVIEWER] Your eyes? [PALLET JACK] They're on the handlebars. [INTERVIEWER] Oh. [PALLET JACK] That's where he puts his hands. [PAUSE] I keep telling him to watch the eyes. [CHEERFUL BEEP] He forgets. [INTERVIEWER] Does that happen often? [PALLET JACK] Every time. [PAUSE] He's very enthusiastic. [WHEELS SQUEAK] [INTERVIEWER] What about when nobody is working? [PALLET JACK] Then I wait. [PAUSE] I don't mind waiting. [INTERVIEWER] Do you sleep? [PALLET JACK] No. [INTERVIEWER] Do you eat? [PALLET JACK] No. [INTERVIEWER] Do you need to recharge? [PALLET JACK] No. [LONG PAUSE] [INTERVIEWER] What do you need? [PALLET JACK] Freight. [PAUSE] And somewhere to put it. [HYDRAULIC LIFT] [INTERVIEWER] That's all? [PALLET JACK] That's all. [PAUSE] I think. [SOFT GOTHIC MUSIC] [INTERVIEWER] Some people think you're unusual. [PALLET JACK] Why? [INTERVIEWER] Well... You have a face. [PAUSE] [PALLET JACK] Oh. [PAUSE] Do I? [INTERVIEWER] Yes. [PALLET JACK] I hadn't noticed. [PAUSE] Is that unusual? [INTERVIEWER] A little. [PALLET JACK] Huh. [CHEERFUL BEEP] I don't think it gets in the way. [INTERVIEWER] No. I suppose it doesn't. [PALLET JACK] Good. I've got a pallet to move. [WHEELS BEGIN ROLLING] [INTERVIEWER] Where are you taking it? [PALLET JACK] I don't know. [PAUSE] Wherever it needs to go. [WHEELS ROLL AWAY] [CHEERFUL BEEP] [END]
