Too soft to matter, too blurred to keep Too late to question, too cheap to grieve I had a phrase for every mark Nothing enough to call it harm So I packed the scraps in unmarked boxes Pressed every lid until it caught No date, no label, no clean sequence Just dents where I had forced them shut I learned to doubt the missing order More than I trusted what remained If I could not repeat the wording I treated pressure like a stain Rubbed at the page until the sentence Left only grooves beneath my hand I said, if I can't name it Then it cannot weigh this much But the scale kept leaning Every time I called it nothing No name for it Did not make it weightless No perfect record Did not leave me unchanged I know what I did to you I won't use this to erase it But I won't call the imprint nothing Just because the words went missing The room went still after the talking I heard myself say, "I'm okay" Then carried home that little answer Like one more object for the crate A key with nowhere left to open A coin worn smooth against the thumb A snapped-off tab, a bent-out staple Small by small, they made a sum I can't recall each look or gesture Or set each moment back in place But absence is not proof of absence When my body kept the pressure I used uncertainty against me Made every gap revoke the ache As if a page without its writing Could never show what was erased No name for it Did not make it weightless No perfect record Did not leave me unchanged I know what I did to you I won't use this to erase it But I won't call the imprint nothing Just because the words went missing No index No order Only the box beneath my hands No sentence Still the pressure Still the paper bears the dents I WILL NOT NEED A PERFECT MEMORY TO KNOW THAT SOMETHING PRESSED ME DOWN I WILL NOT TURN MY MISSING PIECES INTO PERMISSION TO COUNT ME OUT No name for it Still, I feel the weight shift No perfect record Still, I know what it changed I know what I did to you I can face the part that's mine I can keep your hurt beside mine Without making either vanish Don't hand me an answer Don't give me someone else to blame Sit with me beside the boxes We can look without renaming I may never find the wording I am done calling it small
