The Department of Situational Awareness

This is the department of situational awareness Here to issue you your license to be reckless and act careless In all due fairness Your is-ness is your business Not my here-ness nor my there-ness Welcome to my luncheon I’m the chief executive officer Of executive dysfunction Watch, My whole board is chairless Like Sasquatch, but hairless Paralyzed, malnourished Proselytized, Hiding in the forest So siphon money from the tourists I’m a heat seeking missile Shock and awe inevitable fizzle I can’t play ball I can’t whistle Stay present stay here Stay present don’t spiral Stay grounded stay near Don’t let the thought virus go viral This is the department of situational awareness Here to issue you your license to be reckless and act careless In all due fairness Your build-a-bear is bearless Your kingdom is heirless What a mess Let’s reassess Every single fucking profession Oh bless, under duress, I’ll unwrinkle every obsession I’m gonna take some time to R and D Every M.O. that goes M.I.A With P.T.S.D. And you can R.O.F. L.M.A.O I know you’re L.O.L. At me You can G.T.F.O I.M.H.O! Cause we are the department of situational awareness A judge and jury of your mental wellness A task force assembled to assess your aptitude for emotional intelligence! This is the department Yeah there’s a department A whole god damn department It’s about the size of my apartment We put bad thoughts in a compartment