🎤 “Midnight in My Whiskers (The Cat Intervenes)”

[Verse 1] Well I seen a lot from rooftops, Heard ballads in the bins— I’m just a tabby with a mission And a flair for settin’ sins. They call me Maestro, baby, ‘Cause I orchestrate regret— And Craig and Rhonda? That’s a duet Ain’t done singing yet. ⸻ [Verse 2] I saw her crash that shopping cart With powdered grace and dread— And Craig? He wept into a churro Near a biker named Big Fred. These two are busted poetry— But love don’t quit that quick. So I pawed a plan together Using tuna, trash, and stick. ⸻ [Chorus] Midnight in my whiskers, Romance in my paws— I’ll drag your heart together With no regard for laws. A donut trail, a stolen scarf, Some meows and alley jazz— You’ll reunite by streetlight, ’Cause I’m just that kinda cat. ⸻ [Verse 3] Rhonda’s sulking near a fire hydrant, Craig’s howling at a cloud, So I swiped her hoodie, left a note, And yowled real damn loud. They both followed the echoes To a park bench by the pier— And there I sat, purring smug, With a donut and a beer. ⸻ [Bridge – Meowdrama Intensifies] I gave ‘em space, I played some tunes, Stole a kazoo from a clown. They talked until the moon yawned wide And their walls all tumbled down. She fixed his tear-stained mullet, He kissed her bandaged knee— And I lit a match inside my soul For this feline symphony. ⸻ [Final Chorus] Midnight in my whiskers, Cupid in my claws— You call it dumpster meddlin’? I call it cat applause. No one loves like alley folk With crumbs upon their lips— And I’ll be damned, they found their way With one tail-flick and some chips. ⸻ [Outro – Soft Spoken, Mysterious] (If love gets lost again… you’ll know where to find me. Under the 7th dumpster behind Tina’s Diner. Bring sardines.)