
You’ve seen all the memes, and you’ve heard the acclaim, of the 100-hour JRPG Atlas game. Whether OG or Royal, Persona’s the name. PS5, Switch or PC, it plays just the same. Demands on your time make the prospect of playing, this overwrought visual novel dismaying. But with our expertise you can navigate Joker’s foray through this lengthy, turn-based Magnum Opus. CHORUS So follow this guide and without delay You can min/max your way through Megami Tensei Why only survive when you can thrive? Join the fray and you’ll learn to play Persona 5. Priority One: get your confidents maxxed, They will buff you in battle and help when attacked Takami can help you recover SP, When you get to a palace complete it quickly. Kawakami can help you skip classes at school, Chihaya’s Affinity Reading is cool, Keep feeding the house plant mega fertilizer Crosswords and school questions make your guy wiser. CHORUS So follow this guide, I’m thou, thou art I, Spend three semesters here at Shujin High, Discover the legend, uncover the myth, A new life awaits you when you start Persona The Fifth. Match the Arcana of friends you are meeting, And Google the quiz answers, don’t call it cheating. Get good with the baton pass when in a fight, The speed-reading book helps you be erudite Wait for the Mementos targets to stack, Fuse your personas and never look back. Knock the game down to easy if you have to Beat the boss, celebrate, change it back after. CHORUS So follow this guide, though it’s detailed and long, The game’s barely longer than this goddamn song, If you stick with these words, this is my guarantee, you’ll see everything worth it in Persona V. BRIDGE In reality hearts can’t be turned on a dime And our stats can’t be gamed, and there’s never the time. And our friends aren’t our friends when we need them the most, And life’s not a 10-point condensed Reddit post And we’re flawed, disappointing, and rarely redeemed, like a thief in a shared construct somebody dreamed. CHORUS So follow this guide, today is the day, You be Kasumi, I’ll be your sensei, Its 33 gigs on your solid-state drive Put your troubles away, it’s time to play Persona 5!

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