The Mermaid's Heist (Birdbath & Jerry's POV)

electro swing, industrial techno-swing, schlager-polka

V6-MINI

Oooooh… hello there, sailor… Hehehe… come a little closer… don't be shy… I've got a little song for you… and maybe a little drink.

[TAVERN CROWD]

AYE! AYE! DRINK UP!

[LISA — SWEET  FEMALE CARTOON VOICE]

That's right, Sailor Jerry… bring your whole crew. The night is young… and I know just what you need. Hehehe!

[VERSE 1]

[Muted swing guitar and bright vibraphone fills over a swinging party beat] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice]

I walked in the tavern with a wink and a grin, red lips shining, let the trouble begin. Silk on my shoulders, boots on the floor, one little siren and they're begging for more. Jerry saw me, said, “Well, hello!” I tilted my head like, “Where you wanna go?” I poured him a drink with a sweet little smile, “Stay right here, sailor… stay for a while.” His crew started laughing, the fiddle went fast, nobody noticed the moon rising past. Round after round, they were losing their way, while I sang them a song they couldn't turn away.

[PRE-CHORUS — DREAMY SIREN]

[Vintage jazz sample filtering into a dreamy, slow sway] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice]

Come closer… oooooh… come closer… don't you hear the ocean call? Drink slower… dance closer… you don't have to leave at all… ahhhh…

[CHORUS]

[Uptempo, rowdy schlager polka sway explodes with brass][ sultry sexy FEMALE voice]

SAILOR JERRY! DRINK IT DOWN! Lisa's got you spinning round! Raise your glass! Lose your head! By the time you wake—THE SHIP IS GONE! Hey! Sailor Jerry! Where's your crew? They were drinking till the sky turned blue! You came for a party, you stayed for the show… now Lisa Disney steals your boat and goes! HAHAHA!

[POST-CHORUS] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice]

HEY! HEY! Drink it! HEY! HEY! Swing it! HEY! HEY! Round and round! Who's got the captain? LISA! Who's got the ship? LISA! Who took the treasure? LISA! AHOY!

[VERSE 2]

[Rhythm drops back to a bouncy reggae-swing stride]

Jerry's getting tipsy, stumbling left and right, his crew's doing cannonballs in the middle of the night. “Where's the captain?” “I don't know!” I said, “Maybe he's dancing—go on, sailor, go!” I grabbed the harbor registry to check out the line, the harbor girls were raving 'bout his face so divine! They said he was the treasure, the king of the streets, so I assumed that Jerry was the lord of the fleets! I slipped out the back with a heavy beer glass, to find the handsome captain and to take him down fast

[BRIDGE 1 — THE BLIND ALLEY] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice]

[Music hits a heavy, driving industrial-polka stomp]

[SFX: Rain pouring, a sudden, heavy wooden CLUNK sound effect]

But a grimy old deckhand was running at me, he was covered in grease, trying desperately to flee! He didn't look handsome, he didn't look clean, so I clocked him right out like a true pirate queen! I dragged him by the boots through the muck and the mire, and dumped him right into the farmhouse sty-er! Sleep tight, little sailor, stay out of my way—I've got a legendary captain to rob today!

[PRE-CHORUS 2]

[Backing Choir rises in a massive, mocking operatic harmony]

Oh, the hula-girls laugh and the farmhands weep, she just knocked out the man that she wanted to keep! No vanilla! No cherry! Just a bump on the head! She left Sailor Jerry in a livestock bed!

[VERSE 3]

[The heavy tech-swing beats turn dark, tense, and frantic]

[SFX: Heavy wooden doors slamming shut, a massive iron lock turning, frantic pounding on wood from inside]

[Captain Birdbath - Shouting from inside the tavern, muffled vocals] [gruff rusty but sexy male voice]

Hey! Unlock the latch! Give back my uniform vest! She swiped the iron ring right out of my chest!

[Lisa Disney - Laughing outside in the rain, loud and clear] [choir humming and chanting]

"You listened to the gossip, you read the scandal sheets! You thought the prettiest sailor was the master of the fleets! But I got the real keys, I got the master line—have fun in the parlor while The Mermaid is mine!"

[BRIDGE 2 — BREAKING OUT]

[Music hits a chaotic, fast-paced guitar and accordion battle solo]

[SFX: Splintering wood, axes chopping, tavern doors finally bursting open]

[Tavern multiple male vocals Crew - Shouted] "THE DOOR IS DOWN! PURSUE THE SIREN!"

[SFX: Rapid footsteps splashing through mud and rain towards the docks]

[Lisa Disney - Distant, echoing gloriously from the harbor waves] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice]

"Thanks for the hat, Captain! Thanks for the treasure chest! Turned out your master keychain was the absolute best!"

[SFX: The heavy, metallic clanking of the ship's engines roaring to life using the stolen keys]

[VERSE 4]

[The heavy beats drop out completely, replaced by a weeping acoustic Celtic fiddle]

[The gentle, rhythmic sound of ocean waves crashing against empty wooden docks]

[Jerry - Raspy male voice manly but younger than the captain, waking up in the pigpen, coughing, stepping past swine]

The steeples strike four... my head is a mess... the harbor is quiet, in deep distress...

[Captain Birdbath - Running up to the dock, completely out of breath, voice cracking with genuine sorrow] [ grumpy,  rusty and sexy male voice]

My pockets are empty... my vessel has been stripped... she locked me in my own bar before she boarded the ship! I look out to the water, I look down at the floor—and find my finest sailor snoring right next to a boar!

[FINAL CHORUS]

[Dual-vocal harmony between Captain and Jerry, soft and heavy with heartbreak]

[ two separate male vocals in duets]

[The music swells into a sweeping, cinematic orchestral string section]

[Captain Birdbath drops to his knees, weeping on Jerry's mud-stained shoulder in the pigpen]

[Both watching the top of the sails slowly disappear on the horizon]

The anchors are up, she is riding the swell, sailing away to the sound of the bell. No more hula-girls dancing, no tavern design, just two broken sailors on the empty dock line...

[OUTRO]

[The orchestra strips away, leaving only a single, fading fiddle note]

[SFX: One last, faint, taunting siren laugh from Lisa Disney echoes over the wind]

[Lisa - Faint whisper]

"Too late, sailors... hehehe..."

[The waves slowly wash over the pier fading into total silence]

[END]

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180 bpm fast electro swing stride, dramatic male and female vocal duet, massive symphonic orchestra strings, aggressive big band brass stabs, industrial techno-swing bass, theatrical backing choir[INTRO — LISA DISNEY, VINTAGE FEMALE CARTOON SIREN VOICE] Oooooh… hello there, sailor… Hehehe… come a little closer… don't be shy… I've got a little song for you… and maybe a little drink. [TAVERN CROWD] AYE! AYE! DRINK UP! [LISA — SWEET FEMALE CARTOON VOICE] That's right, Sailor Jerry… bring your whole crew. The night is young… and I know just what you need. Hehehe! [VERSE 1] [Muted swing guitar and bright vibraphone fills over a swinging party beat] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice] I walked in the tavern with a wink and a grin, red lips shining, let the trouble begin. Silk on my shoulders, boots on the floor, one little siren and they're begging for more. Jerry saw me, said, “Well, hello!” I tilted my head like, “Where you wanna go?” I poured him a drink with a sweet little smile, “Stay right here, sailor… stay for a while.” His crew started laughing, the fiddle went fast, nobody noticed the moon rising past. Round after round, they were losing their way, while I sang them a song they couldn't turn away. [PRE-CHORUS — DREAMY SIREN] [Vintage jazz sample filtering into a dreamy, slow sway] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice] Come closer… oooooh… come closer… don't you hear the ocean call? Drink slower… dance closer… you don't have to leave at all… ahhhh… [CHORUS] [Uptempo, rowdy schlager polka sway explodes with brass][ sultry sexy FEMALE voice] SAILOR JERRY! DRINK IT DOWN! Lisa's got you spinning round! Raise your glass! Lose your head! By the time you wake—THE SHIP IS GONE! Hey! Sailor Jerry! Where's your crew? They were drinking till the sky turned blue! You came for a party, you stayed for the show… now Lisa Disney steals your boat and goes! HAHAHA! [POST-CHORUS] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice] HEY! HEY! Drink it! HEY! HEY! Swing it! HEY! HEY! Round and round! Who's got the captain? LISA! Who's got the ship? LISA! Who took the treasure? LISA! AHOY! [VERSE 2] [Rhythm drops back to a bouncy reggae-swing stride] Jerry's getting tipsy, stumbling left and right, his crew's doing cannonballs in the middle of the night. “Where's the captain?” “I don't know!” I said, “Maybe he's dancing—go on, sailor, go!” I grabbed the harbor registry to check out the line, the harbor girls were raving 'bout his face so divine! They said he was the treasure, the king of the streets, so I assumed that Jerry was the lord of the fleets! I slipped out the back with a heavy beer glass, to find the handsome captain and to take him down fast [BRIDGE 1 — THE BLIND ALLEY] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice] [Music hits a heavy, driving industrial-polka stomp] [SFX: Rain pouring, a sudden, heavy wooden CLUNK sound effect] But a grimy old deckhand was running at me, he was covered in grease, trying desperately to flee! He didn't look handsome, he didn't look clean, so I clocked him right out like a true pirate queen! I dragged him by the boots through the muck and the mire, and dumped him right into the farmhouse sty-er! Sleep tight, little sailor, stay out of my way—I've got a legendary captain to rob today! [PRE-CHORUS 2] [Backing Choir rises in a massive, mocking operatic harmony] Oh, the hula-girls laugh and the farmhands weep, she just knocked out the man that she wanted to keep! No vanilla! No cherry! Just a bump on the head! She left Sailor Jerry in a livestock bed! [VERSE 3] [The heavy tech-swing beats turn dark, tense, and frantic] [SFX: Heavy wooden doors slamming shut, a massive iron lock turning, frantic pounding on wood from inside] [Captain Birdbath - Shouting from inside the tavern, muffled vocals] [gruff rusty but sexy male voice] Hey! Unlock the latch! Give back my uniform vest! She swiped the iron ring right out of my chest! [Lisa Disney - Laughing outside in the rain, loud and clear] [choir humming and chanting] "You listened to the gossip, you read the scandal sheets! You thought the prettiest sailor was the master of the fleets! But I got the real keys, I got the master line—have fun in the parlor while The Mermaid is mine!" [BRIDGE 2 — BREAKING OUT] [Music hits a chaotic, fast-paced guitar and accordion battle solo] [SFX: Splintering wood, axes chopping, tavern doors finally bursting open] [Tavern multiple male vocals Crew - Shouted] "THE DOOR IS DOWN! PURSUE THE SIREN!" [SFX: Rapid footsteps splashing through mud and rain towards the docks] [Lisa Disney - Distant, echoing gloriously from the harbor waves] [sultry sexy FEMALE voice] "Thanks for the hat, Captain! Thanks for the treasure chest! Turned out your master keychain was the absolute best!" [SFX: The heavy, metallic clanking of the ship's engines roaring to life using the stolen keys] [VERSE 4] [The heavy beats drop out completely, replaced by a weeping acoustic Celtic fiddle] [The gentle, rhythmic sound of ocean waves crashing against empty wooden docks] [Jerry - Raspy male voice manly but younger than the captain, waking up in the pigpen, coughing, stepping past swine] The steeples strike four... my head is a mess... the harbor is quiet, in deep distress... [Captain Birdbath - Running up to the dock, completely out of breath, voice cracking with genuine sorrow] [ grumpy, rusty and sexy male voice] My pockets are empty... my vessel has been stripped... she locked me in my own bar before she boarded the ship! I look out to the water, I look down at the floor—and find my finest sailor snoring right next to a boar! [FINAL CHORUS] [Dual-vocal harmony between Captain and Jerry, soft and heavy with heartbreak] [ two separate male vocals in duets] [The music swells into a sweeping, cinematic orchestral string section] [Captain Birdbath drops to his knees, weeping on Jerry's mud-stained shoulder in the pigpen] [Both watching the top of the sails slowly disappear on the horizon] The anchors are up, she is riding the swell, sailing away to the sound of the bell. No more hula-girls dancing, no tavern design, just two broken sailors on the empty dock line... [OUTRO] [The orchestra strips away, leaving only a single, fading fiddle note] [SFX: One last, faint, taunting siren laugh from Lisa Disney echoes over the wind] [Lisa - Faint whisper] "Too late, sailors... hehehe..." [The waves slowly wash over the pier fading into total silence] [END]

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