[Intro] [Mariachi brass fanfare, festive and slightly too cheerful] ¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! [Verse 1] The doctor said I've got six months, maybe less I said "well that's convenient, I must confess I've got a list of things I never dared to try" He said "sir please sit down" — I said "¡Adiós!" I called my lawyer on the way out the door Said "add a clause they've never seen before Every guest must come without a stitch of clothes Or they don't get a single thing I own — ¡Ay!" [Pre-Chorus] When you've got nothing left to lose You've got everything to gain ¡Arriba! Let the trumpets play! [Chorus] Bring out your best, it's almost over ¡Ay caramba! What a way to go File the paperwork, update the will Add the neighbor — no, he will just spend it on save the beavers dot com Bring out your best, no time for crying ¡Viva! We are living till we're not Might as well do everything you shouldn't 'Cause you're going to the same place either way — ¡Ay! [Verse 2] I found a mobility scooter — modified With a turbo kit the manual can't describe They said the motocross track wasn't meant for me I said "señor, have a heart! I'll be dead by January" I ate the steak the cardiologist forbade I called my ex to have the last word that I'd saved She hung up — so I called again Left forty messages — ¡muy bien! [Pre-Chorus] When you've got nothing left to lose You've got everything to gain ¡Arriba! Let the trumpets play! [Chorus] Bring out your best, it's almost over ¡Ay caramba! What a way to go File the paperwork, update the will Add the mailman — or.. no, he'll just spend it on someone's wife Bring out your best, no time for crying ¡Viva! We are living till we're not Might as well do everything you shouldn't 'Cause you're going to the same place either way — ¡Ay! [Bridge — spoken over gentle guitarrón] Now I'm writing my review of my own funeral One star — the flowers were completely wrong I said no lilies, I specifically said no lilies And whoever chose the music — not that song But the dress code — now that was a triumph Every guest arrived exactly as requested The dress code? Perfect. Not a thread among them. Best funeral I've ever seen — and I've seen a few [Final Chorus — full mariachi explosion] Bring out your best, it's almost over ¡Ay caramba! What a way to go File the paperwork, update the will Tell the trumpet player — not THAT one, no Bring out your best, we're done complaining ¡Viva! We are laughing as we go Might as well do everything you shouldn't 'Cause you're going to the same place — high or low — ¡Ay! [Outro] [Mariachi fades, single trumpet holds] ¡Ay, ay, ay! See you on the other side Bring a jacket — I hear it's cold ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Mariachi dark humor anthem about making the most of whatever time is left — not with joy about dying, but with the liberating absurdity of having nothing to lose. A modified turbo mobility scooter on a motocross track. A mandatory naked dress code at the funeral. Forty voicemails to an ex. A one-star review of one's own funeral ("the flowers were completely wrong"). Monty Python energy meets Mexican brass in a celebration of the ridiculous dignity of the final chapter. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- © 2026 Ande Records Lyrics by Ande All rights reserved. https://ande-records.se/
