[Intro – hype host] Step right up, step right up—midway’s open! Cotton candy, clacking teeth, big top smokin’! Whoop whoop—where my weirdos at? Alright—count it in: 1-2—click-clack! [Chorus] Swing—snap—click—whoop! (hold it high) It’s my detachable penis, don’t act shy Lost and found? Nah, it boomerangs back Unscrew—plink!—then I toss it to the track Hey! Hey! Crowd hands up like this— When I pop that latch, it goes twist-twist! Midway lights, everybody say “genius!” Rockin’ the mic with my detachable penis [Verse 1] Woke up late, carnival calliope squealin’ Clown car stalled and the Ferris wheel’s squeakin’ Manager yellin’, “Yo, where’s your props?” I said “Hold up—lemme check my box.” Glove compartment? Nope. Junk drawer? Maybe. Dog ran off with it—bad dog, Daisy! Found it in a Pringles can (don’t ask) Polished it up—now we back on task Snap! It’s a mic, I’m a hype machine, Use it as a drum stick on the trampoline Security trippin’—“Sir, what’s this mean?” I said, “Relax, chief, it’s medically clean.” [Pre-Chorus] Strobe lights spin, the tent roof breathes, I swing that thing like keys on a ring Crowd goes wild, cotton candy screams— This is the anthem of improbable dreams! [Chorus] Swing—snap—click—whoop! (hold it high) It’s my detachable penis, don’t act shy Lost and found? Nah, it boomerangs back Unscrew—plink!—then I toss it to the track Hey! Hey! Crowd hands up like this— When I pop that latch, it goes twist-twist! Midway lights, everybody say “genius!” Rockin’ the mic with my detachable penis [Verse 2] Airport line, TSA lookin’ stressed, “Sir—explain the… uh… item in your vest?” I said “Souvenir!” He said “From where?” “From the gift shop right next to the mirror maze, there.” Magician saw it—asked, “Wanna trade?” He tried to make it vanish, but it stayed Now it’s a spotlight—glows on cue, Doubles as a glow stick—neon blue Merch table sellin’ foam take-home minis, Signed 8x10s of me grinnin’ with the thingy Parent advisory sticker on the case— But grandma bought two with a smile on her face! [Pre-Chorus] Drumline thumps, kettle corn pops, Ride car rattles and the bassline drops Three-ring circus, chaos supreme— Hit that latch and the crowd goes scream! [Chorus] Swing—snap—click—whoop! (hold it high) It’s my detachable penis, don’t act shy Lost and found? Nah, it boomerangs back Unscrew—plink!—then I toss it to the track Hey! Hey! Crowd hands up like this— When I pop that latch, it goes twist-twist! Midway lights, everybody say “genius!” Rockin’ the mic with my detachable penis [Bridge – call & response] You say “detach-a-ble!” — DETACH-A-BLE! I say “pe-nis!” — PE-NIS! Hold it up—clock it in—no shame—no sin (…well, maybe a little mischief—let’s begin) [Verse 3] Backstage tech tries to borrow my gear, I said “Careful with that—very dear!” He turned it to a capo on a pawn-shop Strat, Now we got a circus punk power-chord blast DJ flips it—now it’s a pitch-bend lever, Siren wail—crowd louder than ever Juggler tried adding it into his set— Caught it mid-air, yelled “Best prop yet!” [Pre-Chorus] Tilt-A-Whirl spin, confetti rain, Candy-apple gloss on the funhouse frame If this is wrong, we’re doin’ it right— Clip that latch and ignite the night! [Chorus – extended] Swing—snap—click—whoop! (hold it high) It’s my detachable penis, don’t act shy Lost and found? Nah, it boomerangs back Unscrew—plink!—then I toss it to the track Hey! Hey! Crowd hands up like this— When I pop that latch, it goes twist-twist! Midway lights, everybody say “genius!” Rockin’ the mic with my detachable penis One more time—let the carnival see this: We go click-clack—party never ceases! [Outro – hype host] Tickets please, tuck your knees, ride ain’t over— From the big top dust to the late-night clover If you lose your cool, don’t panic or scream— Just detach, reattach, and chase that dream. Whoop whoop!
