I Fall Apart By Blackthorn Riot

Song By Blackthorn Riot Words Carved Into The Night By Duncan McCalmont & Rikki Morningstar [Intro] [A slow bass pulse beating like an anxious heart] [A violin trembling beneath the noise] I don’t think I’d slept properly in weeks. After a while everything starts feeling distant. Like you’re watching your own life happen from somewhere far away. [Verse 1] I was sitting on the motel floor near the television glow Watching shadows move across stained wallpaper The room smelled like damp clothes, cigarettes, and stale air And something cold underneath the air conditioner hum [Sharp, aggressive violin accent] Headlights kept sliding across the curtains outside Stretching across the room like slow-moving ghosts Some couple nearby argued through the thin walls for almost an hour Then suddenly stopped talking completely And honestly That silence felt worse somehow My hands wouldn’t stop shaking that night Even though nothing bad was happening anymore [Pre-Chorus] Nobody really warns you about the crash afterward When the noise fades And your thoughts finally catch up to you all at once [Violins slowly swelling] [Chorus] I fall apart in quiet ways Through sleepless nights and crowded rooms Through conversations where I nod along Without saying what’s actually wrong [Violins crashing violently through distortion] I fall apart in quiet ways Like rainwater leaking through broken ceilings Trying to keep myself together While feeling pieces of me slowly disappear [Verse 2] Around four in the morning we drove through empty streets downtown Streetlights reflecting across soaked pavement Nobody inside the car said much anymore Just tired people staring through fogged windows silently [Fast sharp emotional violin strikes] We stopped outside a convenience store for cigarettes and coffee And I remember watching exhausted strangers beneath fluorescent lights Everybody looked emotionally somewhere else Like the whole city was functioning half-asleep You asked me if I ever thought about leaving everything behind And before I could think about it I said “all the time” [Dirty bass groove intensifies] [Pre-Chorus] I think loneliness eventually becomes physical Like carrying weight inside your chest constantly Something that follows you everywhere quietly Even into rooms full of people [Violins rising emotionally] [Chorus] I fall apart in quiet ways Inside half-empty motel rooms after shows Inside versions of myself I barely recognize anymore [Violins colliding violently with distorted guitars] I fall apart in quiet ways And still wake up pretending I’m functioning normally Because eventually exhaustion stops feeling temporary And starts feeling like part of who you are [Bridge] [Deep sharp emotional violin quietly breaking apart] Right before sunrise Rain started sliding down the windshield again I remember staring out at the empty boulevard Thinking about how easy it is To disappear emotionally Without anybody realizing right away The whole city kept moving outside the car Like my breakdown meant absolutely nothing to it [Soft whispered backing vocals] “Nothing to it…” [Build-Up] [Violins becoming chaotic and aggressive] Some damage really does stay with people forever Maybe surviving certain years changes you permanently But there’s still something inside me That keeps fighting to stay human through all of this [Final Chorus] I fall apart in quiet ways But somehow I’m still dragging myself forward Still waking up every morning Even when I don’t fully understand why anymore [Violins soaring violently above distorted guitars] I fall apart in quiet ways And somewhere underneath all the exhaustion and noise There’s still a part of me Trying desperately not to disappear completely [Outro] [One final mournful violin note trembling in the dark] “I don’t think anybody realized how close I was to breaking…” [Static dissolves into silence]