He’s the man with the master plan, Buildin’ towers across the land. Forty people call his name, He’s the architect of fortune and fame. They praise his vision in steel and stone, But give him a hammer he breaks his own home. [Pre-Chorus] Drafts and dreams — he’s on a roll, Don’t let him near a power pole! [Chorus 1] Oh Porcelain Throne my shiny friend, I tried to build you that was my end! Water’s flowin’, sparks ignite, My kingdom’s gone in one bright night. Porcelain Throne, you mock my grace, Now I poop in the woods with a shameful face. [Verse 2] He drew a plan, felt smart and brave, “This DIY / will be my cave.” He drilled and wired, he sealed, he swore, Then sparks went flyin’ through the door! The pipes were crossed, the fuse went boom, Now he’s naked under the moon. [Pre-Chorus 2] A genius, in glass and stone, But can’t build his bathroom throne. [Chorus 2] Porcelain Throne, my pride’s undone, I’m roasted like a hot cross bun! No water left to douse the flame, My workshop’s ash and I’m to blame! Porcelain Throne, you mock my crown, Now nature’s toilet iis all I’ve found! [Bridge – spoken / half sung, slow tempo] You can build the skyline, / shape the sun, But when you swing a hammer, / the joke’s begun. You can plan perfection, / draft your fate, But miss the stud, / it’s checkmate! [Final Chorus – big finale, double tempo feel] Porcelain Throne, you taught me right, Every king falls in the night. We’re all the same when pride has flown, Don’t claim a throne you can’t build alone! [Outro – spoken with band fade out] So here’s to fools with great ideas, With singed eyebrows and burned IKEA: Raise your tools and sing this moan: “All hail the man without a throne!” 🎶
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