[Female Vocalist] [Verse 1] Durn's in her laboratory Working on a brand-new brew Carefully measuring ingredients Like a proper scholar ought to do She's making things to sharpen claws Enhance the senses, strengthen bone I'm making something in a bucket That I probably shouldn't own She says, "Blorvika, don't touch that." I say, "Which one? This?" BOOM! Well, that's one less bottle And a rather lovely mist [Chorus] LAB CHAOS! LET THE FUCKING BOTTLES FLY! LAB CHAOS! MAKE THE ALCHEMIST CRY! She's making potions I'm making bombs She's studying formulas I'm breaking the laws! LAB CHAOS! DURN, YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! IF YOU LEAVE YOUR LAB UNGUARDED IT'S NO LONGER FUCKING YOUR OWN! [Verse 2] Durn's got bottles neatly labelled Every tincture in its place I swap two little bottles round And watch confusion cross her face "Blorvika, what have you done?" Nothing! "Why is this one glowing?" Oh, that? **I wouldn't open that one.** Now look at Durn go! She's got toxins I've got toxins She's got powders I've got more She's got centuries of knowledge I've got shit beneath the floor [Chorus] LAB CHAOS! LET THE FUCKING BOTTLES FLY! LAB CHAOS! WATCH THE ALCHEMIST ASK ME WHY! She's making potions I'm making bombs She's studying formulas I'm breaking the laws! LAB CHAOS! DURN, YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! IF YOU LEAVE YOUR LAB UNGUARDED IT'S NO LONGER FUCKING YOUR OWN! [Verse 3] Now I've made a lovely drink To improve my afternoon It tastes a little strange And it smells a little like perfume I take a sip I wait a bit Then suddenly I grin "Durn! Come here! I've discovered something!" "What?" **MY FARTS ARE FUCKING GREEN!** [Breakdown] Green! Purple! Blue! Oh, this one's fucking yellow! Durnehviir's staring at me Like I'm some diseased hellspawn I say, "Don't look at me like that! Science must be fucking fun!" [Bridge] She wants to make discoveries I want to make a mess She wants to change the nature of things I want to see what happens next She says, "Alchemy requires discipline." I say: **"Alchemy requires explosions!"** [Final Chorus] LAB CHAOS! LET THE FUCKING BOTTLES FLY! LAB CHAOS! THERE'S A CLOUD ABOVE THE SKY! She's making potions I'm making bombs She's enhancing abilities I'm poisoning the ponds! LAB CHAOS! DURN, YOU'RE TAKING THIS TOO SERIOUSLY! YOU'RE UNDEAD! I'M A GOBLIN! **WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT FROM ME?** [Outro] Durn? Why is this bottle labelled "Do Not Drink"? ... Well. There's only one way to find out. **GLUG GLUG GLUG...** Oh. That's fucking interesting.
