Please Don’t Find Me Yet

# Please Don’t Find Me Yet [Intro low close vocal over distant footsteps] Mama passes by— hello, goodbye. Her ankles flash across the light, then all gone from my eyes. I fold my knees against my chest, I tuck my head down small. I squeeze my eyes as tight as I can— did I make me all gone? [Pulse begins quietly] She’s coming close, she’s nearly here. I hear her nearer, nearer. The laughter rolls inside my belly, beating hard to leave me. Please don’t find me yet, Mama. Please pass me by once more. I shake so hard with holding still inside the window well. [Chorus restrained but driving] Run, Mama, run— I love to see you run for me. Looking, keep looking. If you look hard enough, you’ll see. Call my name louder. Come close, then pass me by. Until you find me, I’ll hold the laughter— hello, goodbye. [Verse 2] Your voice grows big, then fades away. I open one eye slowly. I watch you walking farther off— why aren’t you closer to me? Turn around, Mama, you’re going the wrong way. I almost call, but bite it back and make myself stay. Your voice gets small, then smaller still. Then I can’t hear at all. The game goes quiet without your calling. I don’t feel quite so small. [Pre-Chorus rising tension] Please don’t find me yet, Mama— but don’t go far away. Come back and nearly see me. Come back and call my name. [Chorus fuller] Run, Mama, run— I love to see you run for me. Looking, keep looking. If you look hard enough, you’ll see. Call my name louder. Come close, then pass me by. Until you find me, I’ll hold the laughter— hello, goodbye. [Bridge music thins adult voice emerges] I did not know that love could panic. I only knew it called my name. I made a game I could not finish and waited for your arms to end it. I did not know what my small absence opened underneath your feet. I only knew the world grew larger every time you looked for me. [Final Chorus opens warm but unsentimental] Run, Mama, run— your voice comes rushing back to me. Looking, keep looking. I’m hiding where you cannot see. Then your hands find me. Your breath comes back again. I laugh the hiding out of my body while you pull me in. [Outro voice and pulse slowing] No anger in your arms, Mama. Only kisses, only air. You call me rascal, hold me tighter— and suddenly I’m there. Please don’t find me yet. Please don’t stop looking. Not all gone. Not yet.