Ok (Bando Be Da Logo!) And Ever since a child Ive been different,(BANDO7) IS dis HELL OR IS IT HEAVEN? Ive been lonely Real name Brandon but always felt abandoned Turned me to a Bando, God, Im so tired of trying just to find a piece of mind Shit, just a little piece, a slice I’ll take any happiness I can get, alright ’Cause lately Ive been really going through it Making me ask myself questions that I shouldn’t be Do you follow me? All this depression, the sadness, the madness The anger, the hurt, the pain, the rage, the rain Deranged thoughts running through my brain My heart, my soul is broken Arms wide open, just hoping that Father God notices That I’m feeling hopeless When you’re stuck in the dark it’s hard to stay focused Ain’t no way I could’ve wrote this So I turned on my phone and spoke this Just hoping that it might relieve some of these Emotions flowing through my mind, body and soul like an ocean So confused by life right now Can somebody tell me the meaning of life right now? Could it be we’re only here to suffer? Maybe we living in hell and our dumbass don’t even know it? Why is we living to die but dying to live? Why does everything good feel bad in the end? How come love turns to pain and sadness turns to rage? How come I feel like my soul is being locked in a cage? How come I feel like I don’t belong in this place? If I told you go to hell would you say that I cursed you? But what if our life really is vice versa? Everything good was really bad and everything bad was really good? Think about it honestly — that’s the way it feels to me But ever since a child I’ve been different, Ive been lonely Real name Brandon but always felt abandoned Turned me to a Bando God, I’m just a man though How much more do you think I can handle Before I go crazy? The rain cycle, insane, like fucking it’s all the same Nights stretch longer than the days I can remember Mirror don’t recognize the face that’s staring back Every smile I force just feels like an impostor Every prayer I whisper comes back empty, black I carry ghosts of people who were supposed to stay Carry weight of words that never left their mouths Try to build a home inside a mind that’s crumbling But the walls keep shifting every time I turn around Still talking to the ceiling like somebody’s listening Still hoping silence answers with a reason why If the point of breathing is just surviving the breaking Then tell me what’s the difference between living and goodbye So lost inside this life right now Somebody give me meaning I can hold right now Is the whole design just pain with a pretty cover? Are we walking through the fire thinking heaven’s coming closer? Why does peace feel foreign and the hurt feel like home? Why does every open door just lead me back alone How come hope keeps dying every time I try to raise it? How come I still reach for light when darkness owns the spaces? Emotions flowing like an ocean Arms wide open in the dark Still hoping somebody notices Still hoping this voice can carry some of the weight I walk through rooms that used to hold my laughter Now the air just tastes like rust and yesterday Every memory I touch turns into static Every future I invent already slips away There’s a version of me buried under years of quiet Screaming through the concrete of my chest I keep digging with bare hands just to feel something But the more I dig the more I find the emptiness Time don’t heal, it only stretches the distance Between the boy I was and the ghost I became I talk to God like He still owes me answers But the only thing that answers back is rain Tell me what’s the point of all this bleeding If the wound just learns to live inside the skin Tell me why the night keeps getting deeper When I already drowned a thousand times within Is there any version of me left that’s solid Or did the storm erase the outline of my name I’m still here but I don’t recognize the breathing I’m still here but nothing feels the same I used to think the dark was temporary weather Now I know it moved in and it changed the locks It sleeps beside me, wakes me with its questions It wears my voice when I try to talk Friends say “hold on” like the rope ain’t already burning Family prays but never sees the war behind my eyes I smile on cue so no one has to worry But the smile is just another mask to hide I’m tired of surviving just to keep surviving Tired of the cycle that don’t ever break or bend If this is what it means to still be living Then maybe living never was the plan Life feels way too fuckin heavy right now Can anybody feel how loud the quiet gets somehow Is the purpose just to carry what is broken Until the carrying itself becomes the end Why does every sunrise feel like judgment Why does every night feel like a sentence passed How come I keep searching for a reason When the only thing that answers is the past Ocean in my chest, tide never settles Arms still open, waiting for a sign If You’re listening, I’m still down here drowning In the questions
