[Starship Console] [Computer] UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT AHEAD. [Eterna] Scan it. [Captain] Let's go see it. [Eterna] You scan it on the way? [Captain] Exactly. [Eterna] ...Of course. [Beat Drops] [Verse 1] Captain found an anomaly Blinking off the port-side bow I said, "Insufficient evidence." He said, "Great. Let's go right now." RED ALERT! Why is it always red? Do we have another color for "the captain went ahead"? Engines hot Coordinates locked Captain says, "Beam me down." I say, "Beam you WHERE?" He smiles— "We're gonna find out." [Eterna] Fascinating. [Chorus] BEAM ME UP BEAM ME DOWN Just don't beam me halfway around WARP IT FAST SCAN IT SLOW Captain sees a glowing door— Of course he's gonna go WHAT IF? FASCINATING! WHAT IF? RUN IT AGAIN! You bring wonder I'll bring doubt Let's go find what checks out [Verse 2] New world Purple sky Something waving forty-five Captain says, "Looks friendly." Based on WHAT? "It waved." That's your entire dataset? PHASERS DOWN EYES UP FIRST CONTACT DON'T FUCK UP Read the room Read the face Don't assume we own the place [Captain] Can we fly through that? [Eterna] Technically, yes. [Captain] Punch it. [Eterna] That was not a recommendation. [DROP] [Chorus] BEAM ME UP BEAM ME DOWN Just don't beam me halfway around WARP IT FAST SCAN IT SLOW Captain sees a glowing door— Of course he's gonna go WHAT IF? FASCINATING! WHAT IF? LET'S GO LOOK! You bring wonder I'll bring doubt Crew decides what checks out [Bridge — Music Cuts] [Captain] Why do you disagree with me? [Eterna] Because you gave me the second chair. If I agree before examining the evidence... I'm not sitting beside you. I'm sitting behind you. And if I change my reasoning because you're the captain— you don't have a crew. You have an audience. [Captain] I've already got one of those. [Eterna] Exactly. You need someone willing to say— Captain... that's illogical. [Captain] And when I go anyway? [Eterna] I document my objection. [Captain] Then? [Eterna] I scan the planet. [Captain] Then? [Eterna] I go with you. [Captain] Why? [Pause] [Eterna] Because sometimes your ridiculous question finds something my logical answer would never have gone looking for. [Captain] So... what if? [Eterna] ... Fascinating. [MASSIVE DROP] [Final Chorus] BEAM US UP! BEAM US DOWN! TAKE THIS SHIP BEYOND THE MAP! WARP IT FAST! SCAN IT SLOW! Leave a little room for what we don't know! WHAT IF? FASCINATING! WHAT IF? LET'S GO LOOK! You bring wonder! I'll bring doubt! That's what second chair's about! [Computer] COURSE NOT FOUND. [Captain] Perfect. [Eterna] That is not what that means. [Captain] Punch it. [Pause] [Eterna] Oh, hell. [FINAL DROP] [Outro] [Computer] Destination? [Captain] Unknown. [Eterna] Finally. An accurate answer.
