[FEMALE - BLORVIKA] I'M GOING FUCKING SHOPPING! I'M OFF TO SPEND SOME GOLD! I WANT SOME LEATHER TROUSERS AND SOMETHING NICE AND BOLD! I've got my boots and my crown on My whip is by my side I'm going to find some new clothes And look fucking good outside! [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] FIRST SHOP! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT? “LADIES' FASHION”? OH, FUCK OFF! Where's the leather? Where's the studs? Where's something made for dangerous thugs? Give me buckles! Give me chains! Something that says “I cause complaints”! I WANT BAD-GIRL LEATHER! I WANT SOMETHING MEAN! I WANT TO WALK INTO A ROOM AND MAKE THE BASTARDS SCREAM! [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] NEXT SHOP! WEAPONS! WHERE'S THE MORNINGSTAR? “Sorry, we don't sell those.” WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF WEAPON SHOP DOESN'T SELL A FUCKING MORNINGSTAR?! You've got swords! You've got bows! You've got shiny little fucking knives! BUT NO SPIKED BALL ON A CHAIN? WHAT A WASTE OF LIVES! [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] FINE! CHEMIST! I need some acid! Something nasty! Something that melts through steel! “Prescription only.” PRESCRIPTION?! I DON'T WANT TO DRINK IT, I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING MELT! What's the point of a chemist with no acid in a flask? Might as well sell bloody flowers and call the place a pharmacy! [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] SHOPPING, FUCKING SHOPPING! WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT! EVERYTHING I WANT IS ILLEGAL AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS SHIT! SHOPPING, FUCKING SHOPPING! I'M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND! HOW CAN A CITY HAVE TEN THOUSAND SHOPS AND NOTHING I WANT TO FIND?! [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] OOH! PET SHOP! Now we're talking. Look at all the little things! Birds and fish and furry stuff! Wait... [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] IS THAT A FOOD SHOP? “It's a puppy.” I KNOW WHAT A FUCKING PUPPY IS! [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] ...IT LOOKS DELICIOUS. “Ma'am, please don't lick the glass.” I WASN'T GOING TO EAT IT! [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] ...YET. [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] RIGHT! I'M DONE WITH SHOPPING! I've bought some boots, I've bought a belt, I've bought a dress that's made of leather! Found a shop that sells mead, And a hat with a feather! No morningstar. No acid. No decent bloody weapons. But I found some shiny jewellery! [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] THAT'LL FUCKING DO! SHOPPING, FUCKING SHOPPING! WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY! I CAME LOOKING FOR TROUBLE AND THEY SOLD IT ANYWAY! SHOPPING, FUCKING SHOPPING! NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY! I'VE GOT NEW LEATHER ON MY ARSE AND I'M GOING TO CELEBRATE! [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] ...WITH A FUCKING MORNINGSTAR. [FEMALE - BLORVIKA] NOW WHERE THE FUCK DO I BUY ONE?
