Grounding Mechanism

[(Intro)] [(slow, distorted 808, high-pitched drone, vocals pitched down and drenched in reverb)] I keep the blade close... Not for you... For me... For the numb I need to be... [(drone rises)] [(Verse 1)] I don't want to die, I just want to feel Something real that I can steal From the meat that holds my ghost A little pain to keep me close To the edge of something clean A red line I can finally see When the world is too damn loud I make a friend out of the sharp And the cold and the wet The only debt I haven't met [(Hook)] [(vocals layered, one screaming beneath, one monotone)] Cut me open, let me out This is what I'm all about A little sting, a little flood A private war inside my blood Cut me open, let me see The only thing that's really me A little mark, a little stain A ritual to kill the pain [(Verse 2)] [(beat switches to half-time, glitchy hi-hats)] I trace the map upon my arm A farmer tending to his harm I plant the seed and watch it grow A row of red I've come to know It's not for attention, no It's just the only way to go When every feeling is a scream I carve a little waking dream A line for every time I lied A line for every time I tried A line for you, a line for me A line for what I'll never be [(Bridge)] [(music drops to a single detuned synth pad, vocals barely above a murmur)] They say it's wrong, they say it's sick They don't know the way I tick They don't know the hollow ache The constant, gnawing, wide-awake I'm not a victim, I'm the priest I make the offering, I make the feast Upon the altar of my flesh I make the wound, I make it fresh And in the sting, I find a home A kingdom that I rule alone [(Hook)] [(full beat returns, heavier, distorted bass)] Cut me open, let me out This is what I'm all about A little sting, a little flood A private war inside my blood Cut me open, let me see The only thing that's really me A little mark, a little stain A ritual to kill the pain [(Verse 3)] [(vocals pitched up, childlike, unsettling)] I don't need a god to pray I just need a sharper blade I don't need a hand to hold I just need to feel controlled One more line, one more hit One more piece of me to split Watch it drip and watch it pool I am nobody's fool I am the needle and the vein I am the pleasure and the pain I am the only one who stays When everyone else goes away [(Outro)] [(beat stutters, stops, then a low, vibrating hum remains)] One more line... One more line... Just to feel... Just to feel... Something... Anything... [(hum fades to a single, repeating, decaying note)] Nothing.