[NOTE: This song might be the stupidest thing I've ever written] I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass (You put it up your what?) I said I put it up my ass I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass In case I'm going to prison! I've heard some stories Don't know if they're true But the fables say Prison food tastes like poo So might as well take Some homemade gourmet And stick it up my crapper for a terrible day Now I haven't done anything wrong Haven't committed no crime But in case of emergency, break glass In this case I'm ramming a sandwich up my ass! I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass (You put it up your what?) I said I put it up my ass I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass In case I'm going to prison! Now imagine the faces of my fellow men Stuck in prison since god knows when Haven't had anything decent to eat And there I stand (Yay!) with my craphole meat! Now I have to come clean I did once run the red light So if the cops feel mean (oh no!) I'll be happy I prepared my bacon, bacon delight! It's been up there for a single week And yes I might have made a mistake Medical emergencies and some unfortunate leaks Have been known to happen during my lunch break- Because: I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass (You put it up your what?) I said I put it up my ass I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass In case I'm going to prison! In case! (in case) In case! (in case) My bacon smelling ass is going to prison! When all y'all are starving at the end of the world Evading Zombies and hunting for edible grass I imagine the shock and awe on your faces When I pull a pork-filled bun straight out of my ass Though it isn't all style and glam Airport security were scratching their heads When they did an x-ray scan of my backside ham And they found a neatly wrapped lump of bacon bread! Because: I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass (You put it up your what?) I said I put it up my ass I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass In case I'm going to prison! (What happens after you eat it) What do you mean? (Isn't the sandwich just a one time thing?) Oh God, you're right! Perhaps I need to stick some extra stuff in there Maybe some contraband for my fellow jailbirds to share I'll be honest though, I think I'm at my limit That sandwich was BIG! Because I'm in it to win it! I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass (You put it up your what?) I said I put it up my ass I took a bacon sandwich and I put it up my ass In case I'm going to prison!
