Booty Pirates

(Intro Ad-libs) (Yo ho ho!) (Heave! Ho!) (Where's the booty?!) (Verse 1) [Lead vocal, strutting rhythm] We don't sail for gold or silver, that's a stupid quest We left the king's dumb treasure map back in a royal chest We ain't here for shiny jewels or ancient, dusty art (Nah!) We're lookin' for a different kind of booty to impart! [Chorus kicks in with full band: add a catchy fiddle melody and a tambourine keeping time] [Energy builds, crew joins in loudly] We are the Booty Pirates! (BOOTY PIRATES!) Huntin' for the finest cheeks upon the seven seas! (YO HO!) We see a plunder, we don't wonder, we just drop down to our knees! We are the Booty Pirates, and we sail away from sleaze! (Verse 2) [Lead vocal, spoken-sung, conspiratorial tone] That ship upon the starboard side, the "Fancy-Pants Delight" We'll swing on over, take a look, and see if it's alright We won't take their doubloons, no, we'll leave their locks be (What do we take?) We just want a little pinch for all the crew to see! [Chorus - even bigger and more enthusiastic] We are the Booty Pirates! (BOOTY PIRATES!) Huntin' for the finest cheeks upon the seven seas! (HA HA!) We see a plunder, we don't wonder, we just drop down to our knees! We are the Booty Pirates, and we sail away from sleaze! (Bridge) [Music softens slightly to just accordion and light guitar plucking] [Lead vocal, faux-romantic, dramatic] Oh, the booty on the port side... it's a glorious sight! The booty on the larboard side shines ever so bright! We're equal opportunity plunderers, you see! (As long as it's jiggly!) We just appreciate a good, healthy... anatomy! [Guitar strum builds back up] (Yeah!) (Shake it, don't break it!) (Heave! Ho!) [Music slams back in at full volume, faster tempo] [Instrumental break: wild, celebratory fiddle solo that makes you want to dance a jig] [Chorus - shouted with maximum rowdiness and laughter] We are the Booty Pirates! (BOOTY PIRATES!) Huntin' for the finest cheeks upon the seven seas! (THE BEST BOOTY!) We see a plunder, we don't wonder, we just drop down to our knees! We are the Booty Pirates, and we sail away from sleaze! (Outro) [Music gradually fades, leaving just the accordion and the sound of the sea] Yo ho, a pirate's life for me... But only if the booty's bouncy, can't you see? (See ya later, inflator!) [Sound of a cheek pinch followed by a yelp and laughter] ARGH, THAT'S THE STUFF! [Final sound of a waves, a satisfied sigh, and a single comical slide whistle sound effect]