[Intro: VEX — spoken over car ignition] Blue E92. Windows down. Sub turned up past sensible. Scott said, “Keep it quiet.” So obviously… I didn’t. [Bassline Build] One complaint. Two complaints. Three complaints—lovely. [Drop] BASSLINE ASBO! [Verse 1: VEX] Roll through Kirkby with the boot lid shaking, Wing mirrors blur and the whole road’s waking, Diesel on pull, blue coupe looks clean, But the bass in the back sounds fucking obscene. Scott at the wheel with a grin like trouble, Volume goes up and the kick hits double, Neighbour at the curtains, phone in her hand, Like, “That same blue BMW’s back again.” Yeah, course it is, love, put the kettle on, By the time you find the number we’ll be two streets gone, Not racing, not running, just rolling too loud, With Malice in the sub and VEX on the sound. [Pre-Chorus] Rattle that glass. Shake that door. Give the whole postcode One chorus more. [Chorus: Huge UK bassline drop] BASSLINE ASBO! Stick it on the fridge, Whole car bouncing when we roll across the bridge, BASSLINE ASBO! Neighbours know the tune, Half past ten and we’re arriving far too soon. BASSLINE ASBO! Blue E92, Scott says, “Turn it down”—VEX says, “Fuck you,” If the letter says disturbance, tell them, “Yeah, that’s probably so,” Frame the fucking paperwork— BASSLINE ASBO! [Verse 2] Pull into Mansfield, dashboard glowing, Windows halfway, low-end flowing, Some lad looks over like, “What’s that sound?” That’s four wheels carrying an underground. No fancy nightclub, no queue, no wristband, Just a German coupe and a North Notts madman, Heater on warm, energy drink in reach, Making every little roundabout sound like a beach. VEX runs the playlist, Scott misses the turn, Malice says, “Again—let the amplifier burn,” VEXLESS rings up from the kingdom below: “If you’re waking the dead, turn the fucking bass low.” [Beat Stops] We all went quiet. For nearly three seconds. [Drop] Then she shouted— “NO, YOU IDIOTS—LOWER THE FREQUENCY!” [Chorus] BASSLINE ASBO! Stick it on the fridge, Whole car bouncing when we roll across the bridge, BASSLINE ASBO! Neighbours know the tune, Half past ten and we’re arriving far too soon. BASSLINE ASBO! Blue E92, Scott says, “Turn it down”—VEX says, “Fuck you,” If the letter says disturbance, tell them, “Yeah, that’s probably so,” Frame the fucking paperwork— BASSLINE ASBO! [Bridge: Speed-garage shuffle] Left speaker—buzzing. Right speaker—fine. Boot trim rattling Exactly on time. Number plate vibrating. Rear-view gone. Scott says, “That sounds mint.” Mate, something’s clearly wrong. [Verse 3: Faster flow] We’ve got no red carpet, just crumbs on the seat, No chauffeur uniform, just trainers on feet, Fuel light blinking like it wants a debate, But the bass still drops with a quarter tank. From Kirkby to Sutton, Mansfield and back, Every speed bump threatens the amp in the back, People hear us coming before headlights show, That’s not poor maintenance—that’s the bassline, bro. Scott built the playlist, VEX built the nerve, Malice made the low-end shake every kerb, VEXLESS stamped the form with a pitch-black glow, Officially approved by the demons below. [Final Chorus: Full rave eruption] BASSLINE ASBO! Put the warning on display, We’ll be slightly more respectful—starting some other day, BASSLINE ASBO! Every window starts to flex, Scott controls the motor but the stereo belongs to VEX. BASSLINE ASBO! Blue E92, Four wheels, one sub and a badly behaved crew, When the street starts vibrating, everybody fucking knows: It’s the North Notts night shift— BASSLINE ASBO! [Outro: Police radio crackle, engine idling] “Can you turn that down, please?” Yeah, mate. Course we can. [Bass drops again] We just fucking won’t.
