[VERSE 1] [MALE VOCAL] Wipe down the keys. Sanitize the door. Check the locks. And check them once more. A single event. A single bad date. Must compartmentalize and recalibrate! The hair was a color not found in the charts. The shoes were mismatched, the left and right parts. She ordered "all" of the food, an impossible sum! She hummed in a key that the ear would find numb! She is not a "match"! She's a "glitch"! A statistical "catch"! A virus, a hitch! [CHORUS] [MALE VOCAL] I am filing the anomaly! I am sealing the breach! I am writing the customer service report! This person was not as described in the speech! She's an error, a bug, a defect, a flaw! A consequence breaking the data's main law! I am fixing the spreadsheet and righting the "wrong"! And moving my sensible life right along! [VERSE 2] [MALE VOCAL] "To Whom It May Concern: Regarding Match number four-two-eight. I must report a 'return'! The product was not in a functional state! Item: One female. Condition Chaotic. Interests 'Squirrels.' And 'vibes' that were 'aquatic'! The app promised 'order'! The app promised 'sense'! This was a 'disorder'! The logic was past tense!" [CHORUS] [MALE VOCAL] I am filing the anomaly! I am sealing the breach! I am writing the customer service report! This person was not as described in the speech! She's an error, a bug, a defect, a flaw! A consequence breaking the data's main law! I am fixing the spreadsheet and righting the "wrong"! And moving my sensible life right along! [BRIDGE] [MALE VOCAL] There. Done. Complaint filed. Refund requested. Variables reset. Life back in order. What's that? A new notification... From "Soulmate Systems"... No. It's from... her. [OUTRO] [MALE VOCAL] How did she get my number?! The app is supposed to be private! It's... a picture. ...It's the sugar packet fort. ...It's captioned... "You... left... your... laminated... agenda... ...Round... two... tomorrow... question... mark... question... mark...?" ...No. ...No! ...NO!
