The Company That Keeps You

[Verse 1] The Thief… He’ll steal your last copper when you’re looking away, Hide your left boot just to hear you curse the day, Picks every lock on every chest we need to share, Then sells the loot and swears the gold “just vanished into air.” But when the goblins had me pinned and arrows filled the night, He dropped from the shadows, blade in hand, and pulled me to the light. No song of gold could buy the debt I owe that sneaky knave— Annoying little ferret, but the bravest friend I have. [Verse 2] The Wizard…He lectures on mana flows while we’re dodging fire and steel, Corrects my pronunciation of every spell I feel. Reads at the campfire till the wee hours, snoring on his tome, Then wakes us all at dawn with “I’ve solved the stars—now let’s go home!” Yet when the frost-wight froze my blood and death was at the door, He burned his only scroll of wish to bring my heartbeat back once more. Pompous, pedantic, and half-mad—still, I’d trust him with my soul, For all his endless talking, he’s the one who makes us whole. [Verse 3] The Cleric…He preaches every morning, noon, and night about the Light, Tells me my oaths are “close enough” but never fully right. Blesses the stew till it tastes like incense, prays over every ale, Then judges us for drinking it—gods give me strength to no avail. But when the plague took half the town and hope was running thin, He laid his hands on fevered babes and sang the dawn back in. Sanctimonious windbag—yet his heart is soft as springtime rain, I’d march through hell behind him and I’d do it all again. [Verse 4] The Barbarian…He snores like twenty warhorns, farts that peel the paint off shields, Eats three men’s rations, then asks why the cook’s yield never yields. Calls every problem “a nail” and his axe the only hammer, Once hugged a troll because he thought it “looked like it could use some glamour.” But when the little girl was trapped beneath the burning barn, He lifted beams no ten men could and carried her from harm. Big, daft, gentle mountain—fierce as storms and twice as kind, There’s no one I’d rather have watching over my behind. [Chorus (everyone joins, arms around shoulders)] Oh the road is rough, the nights are cold, the pay is never right, But these fools beside me make the darkness bright. They drive me mad, they steal my ale, they lecture, preach, and squeak— Still, I’d fight the gods themselves before I’d lose a single freak. Here’s to the ones who grate my nerves and keep my heart alive, My irritating, perfect friends— With them I’m glad to ride. [Verse 5] So here’s to every eye-roll, every sigh, every shouted “WHY?”, To boots that vanish, sermons long, and snores that touch the sky. We’re broken, loud, impossible, a mismatched, rowdy crew— But when the shadows rise to take me, I know just who’ll pull me through. [Final Chorus (slow at first, then huge and swaying)] Oh the road is rough, the nights are cold, the pay is never right, But these fools beside me make the darkness bright. I’d trade all gold and glory for one more mile with them— My irritating, perfect friends— Till the final road shall end. Hey-ho, we go, together loud and strong, My irritating, perfect friends— This company’s where I belong.