TURTLE

I made this shell slowly I didn’t notice at first Just small changes Closing off Pulling back It felt easier that way Every time something hurt I added another layer Not to be strong Just to feel less Now it’s always with me When people get close I feel it forming again Harder Thicker Quieter I go inside without thinking You can talk to me Sit right in front of me But I’m already gone It’s not that I don’t hear you I just don’t know how to stay This shell keeps me safe Nothing really gets through But nothing really stays either No warmth No closeness No real feeling Just a quiet space Where nothing can touch me I used to think that was enough Now it feels empty Sometimes I want to break it Just to feel something again Even if not hurts But I don’t hit I stay where I am Inside what I made Because I remember Why I built it And I’m still afraid Of what happens If I step out So I carry it Every day A place to hide A PLACE I CAN’T LEAVE (A place I can’t leave)