[Verse 1 — quiet, exhausted] Maybe this would be easier If I didn’t believe in You. If Your word was only stories, If Your law was less than truth. But I know Your commandments, And I know the choice I made. I have carried it for decades, Buried deep beneath my shame. I don’t know how to ask You For mercy I can’t earn. But I am tired, God, I’m so tired Of letting this wound burn. [Chorus — huge emotional rise] Do what I cannot do, Wash me clean. Reach the place inside my soul That still won’t let me breathe. I can’t undo the moment. I can’t erase the scene. I can’t forgive myself, Lord— So do it for me. Do what I cannot do, Please— Wash me clean. [Verse 2 — low, defeated] And God, if You are willing, Touch the hate I hide inside. The rage I still carry Toward the one who made me choose that night. He used his life against me, Then walked away from mine. And I have fed contempt for years Like it deserved a place to hide. But I don’t want this poison. I don’t want this chain. If You can forgive the unforgivable, Teach my heart to do the same. [Bridge — pleading build] So this year in the water, When I lay my old self down, When the river closes over me, And I stop hearing sound, I’ll stay beneath the surface Till the prayer tears through my chest. Till I finally give You everything I never could confess. [Breakdown — desperate scream] Forgive me! Forgive him! Do what I cannot do! Take the hate! Take the shame! Make this broken heart brand new! I know I have no right to ask, But I am begging on my knees— If mercy still can reach me, God, Then please wash me clean! (Softer Background choir, behind female vocals) I don’t deserve the water. I don’t deserve Your peace. Am I even still Your daughter, God? Can You still look at me? Do what I cannot do, Lord, please— Wash me clean. [Outro — whispered, tearful, slowly fading] When I rise up from the water, Let me leave the old me there. Let the river take the hatred, Let it loosen every prayer. And if I still shake when I say it, If his name still cuts me deep, Hold my heart until it softens, Hold the child I couldn’t keep. God, I cannot make this holy. I cannot make it clean. But I can give You all the pieces Of what broke inside of me. So when I rise up from the water, Let mercy be the sound Of a mother finally breathing, After years of almost drowning. (over laying background choir during outro) (eerie whispers) Wash me clean do what I can not do wash me clean let my hate for him leave too
