Legend of the Tasting Toe (New Pro Boss Toe Version)

Rollin' up the block in that rusty white van Everybody knows my boy, they call him Van Man Dan But forget the engine, forget the faded paint The main event's down low, man, it ain't no saint Sock's been through hell, got that perfect little hole Big toe hangin' out like it's on patrol He don't need a spoon, he don't need a plate Just drops that bad boy down and lets his toe dictate Van Man Dan with the taysting toe Hole in the sock, watch that big toe go Dippin' in the strange, dippin' in the low Lickin' off whatever's there, stealin' the show And this time, boys, he tasted pickle juice! Briny and sour, now he's feelin' loose! Saw him at the cookout, spills all on the floor Toe went huntin' through the crumbs and more Cold marinara, little bit of cheese Mixed with some dirt and a couple dead leaves Folks backin' up, turnin' green in the face Dan just grins wide, says "This is my kind of taste" From van carpet fuzz to the sidewalk grit His taysting toe never wants to quit Van Man Dan with the taysting toe Hole in the sock, watch that big toe go Dippin' in the strange, dippin' in the low Lickin' off whatever's there, stealin' the show And this time, boys, he tasted floor spaghetti! Cold and congealed, tasted pretty ready! Late night in the kitchen, fridge light glowin' dim Toe in the sink where the mystery things swim Hair, soap scum, last week's leftover slime He swirls it around like it's aged like fine farm wine Doctor said "Dan, you gotta stop this mess" He laughed and said "Doc, you're just jealous, I guess" Life's too short for bein' so clean When your toe can taste the in-between Van Man Dan with the taysting toe Hole in the sock, watch that big toe go Dippin' in the strange, dippin' in the low Lickin' off whatever's there, stealin' the show And this time, boys, he tasted sink drain slime! Swirled it 'round, said "It's aged like fine wine!" Gas station bathroom, puddle on the tile Been there for weeks, got that biohazard style Toe goes in, instant data comes through Three-day-old Red Bull, diesel residue Despair and regret, yeah the toe knows the smell Upgraded from van to bus, toe evolved as well Started as taysting, then Pro Toe deployed Now it's the Boss Toe, can't be destroyed Van Man Dan with the taysting toe Hole in the sock, watch that big toe go Dippin' in the strange, dippin' in the low Lickin' off whatever's there, stealin' the show And this time, boys, he tasted gas station doom! Energy drink death in a bathroom tomb! Now picture this horror, it keeps me awake Some fool out there runnin' two toes for the sake Of "double the data" or "backup supply" Nah mate, that's madness, I'll tell you why Both feet in the gutter, no clean toe to stand Can't walk away proper, got no stable land Two-toe deployment means you've lost the plot Seek help immediately, that's psychological rot I seen it in nightmares, both toes in the slime Cross-contamination, data corrupted in real time The smell signatures bleedin', tactile feedback screams Two-toe operators haunt my fever dreams Van Man Dan with the taysting toe Hole in the sock, watch that big toe go One toe only, that's the sacred code Two toes tastin'? Man, you're gonna explode! And this time, boys, he's warnin' you straight! Two toes is a one-way ticket to a terrible fate! Bus depot corner, mystery goop under the seat Looks like custard but it ain't nowhere near sweet Toe makes contact, full spectrum arrives Rotted mango, transmission fluid, abandoned hopes and lives Temperature: lukewarm, texture: viscous slide Origin: previous driver, three months he lied Freshness assessment: critical decay Toe is on the spectrum, that's all I gotta say Folks watch in horror while I catalogue the scene Toe delivers the data, keeps my fingers clean Six-axis analysis runnin' every single time Boss Toe operational, rhythm and grime Van Man Dan with the taysting toe Hole in the sock, watch that big toe go Dippin' in the strange, dippin' in the low Lickin' off whatever's there, stealin' the show And this time, boys, he tasted depot despair! Mango-fluid nightmares beyond compare! Yeah Van Man Dan, keep on tastin' strong Hole in the sock, singin' this song Taysting toe forever, Boss Toe in command One toe only, that's the law of the land Van Man Dan lead the way… gross but okay!