[Spoken Intro] They told me to find Mr. Right. I did. Then Mr. Right introduced me to his friends. (Oh dear…) Gentlemen—attendance, please. [Verse 1] Danny got the smile, Frankie got the flair, Tommy walks in like he owns the air, Benny got rhythm, Johnny got style, Marco says “Ciao”—I forget for a while. Harry talks sweet, Eddie talks fast, Jamie looks suspiciously built to last, Charlie brings trouble dressed up in charm— and Michael? (What about Michael?) Sound the alarm. (Ba-da-ba! Hey!) (Ooh-la-la!) [Pre-Chorus] One for the rhythm, two for the show, three at the bar saying, “Where did he go?” Four on the floor and five looking fine— boys, form a queue… and please stay in line. [Chorus] Hey Jack! (Hey!) Hey Joe! (Ho!) Hey Sam—come on, let's go! Luke got moves, Max got soul, Alex makes me lose control. Nick to the left, Jake to the right, Ben's already dancing under the lights, round and round till morning comes— too many boys and not enough drums! (Ba-ba-da-ba!) (Hey! Hey!) Roll call! [Verse 2] Oscar got class, Leo got cool, Ryan looks like he invented the rules, Theo got brains, Luca got heat, Nathan somehow never misses a beat. George says “Darling,” Dean says “Please,” Adam's got a PhD in tease, Patrick looks innocent—beautiful try, I've met that expression… don't sell me the lie. (Ooh!) (We know!) [Pre-Chorus] One for the swagger, two for the grin, three say they're leaving—then walk back in, four lose their jackets, five lose their minds— gentlemen, honestly… this isn't organised. [Chorus] Hey Jack! (Hey!) Hey Joe! (Ho!) Hey Sam—come on, let's go! Luke got moves, Max got soul, Alex makes me lose control. Nick to the left, Jake to the right, Ben's already dancing under the lights, round and round till morning comes— too many boys and not enough drums! [Brass / Name Break] (BA-DA-DA! BA-DA-DA!) Marco! (Hey!) Luca! (Hey!) Danny! (Hey!) Jamie! (Hey!) Charlie! (Uh-oh!) Michael! (Again?!) (Trumpet blast) Everybody—MOVE! (Ooh-ba-da, ooh-ba-da!) (Hey! Hey! Hey!) [Breakdown] Tall ones, short ones, shy ones too, ones who dance like they've lost a shoe, smart ones, strange ones, sweet ones, loud— there's always one who loses the crowd. One says fate. One says stars. One says, “Your place?” Mate—we've only reached the bar. (HA!) [Build] Jack-Joe-Sam— (Come on!) Luke-Max-Ben— (Again!) Jake-Nick-Dean— (Looking clean!) Marco-Luca— WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! [Final Chorus] Hey Jack! (Hey!) Hey Joe! (Ho!) Hey Sam—steal the show! Luke got moves, Max got soul, Alex still can't find control. Nick to the left, Jake to the right, everybody bouncing under the lights, round and round till morning comes— too many boys and NEVER enough drums! (Ooh-ooh!) (Ba-da-ba!) (Higher! Higher!) Jack! Joe! Sam! Ben! Round we go and back again! Luke! Max! Jake! Dean! Prettiest mess I've ever seen! ROLL CALL! (HEY!) ROLL CALL! (HEY!) ROLL—CALL! [Spoken Outro] So… did I find Mr. Right? Absolutely. Unfortunately, I've forgotten which one he was. (Brass sting) Oh—and Michael? Not tonight, Michael. You know exactly what you did last time. I'm still getting apology flowers… from your group chat. (Again from the top!)
