[Verse 1] Touched down in Texas, World Cup in me bag, Proper posh European, lips curled in a snag. "Yanks are all cowboys and cheeseburgers, innit?" Cynical eye-roll, clutching me Birkin like it's sacred. [Pre-Chorus] Then some rancher lad with a drawl thick as molasses, Says "Darlin', come stay, we'll show ya real Texas." I scoffed in me poshest accent, "How quaint, how droll," But packed me Wellies and followed him to the middle of nowhere roll. [Chorus] Oh America, you absolute mad bastard! From snooty skeptic to full-on flag-waver disaster. Killed Bambi in the brush, now I'm proper gone, Fell in love with the USA, love it more than me mum's scone! [Verse 2] West Texas ranch, dust in me Louboutins, Morning coffee blacker than me cynical heart once was. He hands me a rifle, "Time to hunt, little miss," I laughed like a hyena: "Me? Shoot Bambi? Piss!" [Verse 3] Crept through the mesquite, heart racin' a bit, Cute little deer steps out—bang! Bullseye, legit. Bambi went down, I stood there in shock, Then the rancher grinned: "Welcome to 'Merica, love, tick-tock." [Bridge] Felt a weird spark, like freedom fried in bacon grease, Big skies, cold beers, no EU red tape police. Goodbye pretentious cafés and tiny espressos, Hello pickup trucks, barbecues, and yes-please, more Teslas! [Chorus] Oh America, you absolute mad bastard! Turned this jaded bird into a stars-and-stripes disaster. Shot Bambi dead, now I'm cheerin' for the red, white, blue, Fell arse over teacup in love with you! [Outro] So pour me a Shiner, crank up the country tune, This cynical European's gone full-on 'Murica soon. World Cup who? I'm stayin' right here on the range, God bless Texas, y'all—now pass the brisket, no change!
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