[Verse 1] Well, I woke up this morning with a groan and a sigh, My pants are on strike, they won’t even try. Ate twelve kinds of pie, and a ham the size of a boat, Now my stomach’s so tight, it might just explode. But the champagne stayed lonely, untouched on the shelf, Guess I drowned in gravy instead of good health. Now I’m waddlin’ around like a penguin on land, Clutchin’ my gut with a fork in my hand. [Chorus] Oh, I’ve got the New Year’s belly blues, My waistband’s done, it’s called a truce. While the neighbors go wild with their firework muse, I’m stuck with my dogs and these belly blues. [Verse 2] Next door they’re lighting the sky up so bright, It’s like Vegas has moved in for just one night. Dogs are howlin’, cats are hidin’ in fear, While I’m sprawled on the couch with leftover beer. My stomach’s a drum and my heart’s a kazoo, I’d join the fun, but I’m stuck in this stew. Fireworks pop, and my resolve breaks too— Pass me the chips, what else can I do? [Chorus] Oh, I’ve got the New Year’s belly blues, Too much meat and not enough booze. The sky’s ablaze in sparkly hues, But I’m grounded here with my belly blues. [Bridge] Midnight’s come, the countdown’s done, I’d cheer, but I can’t move, son! Neighbors yell, “It’s a brand new year!” I yell back, “Send Tums over here!” [Chorus] Oh, I’ve got the New Year’s belly blues, Too stuffed to dance, so I’ll just snooze. While the fireworks crack, and the dogs all lose, I’ll dream of elastic waistbands and juice. [Outro] So here’s to a year of lessons learned, Like don’t eat a turkey till it’s burned. Raise your glass, let the fireworks fly, But leave me with snacks, and I’ll get by. Yeah, I’ll get by… with my belly blues… (Snoring fades out as the dogs howl in harmony.)
