[INTRO — eerie chopped soul sample / vinyl / no drums] Been looking for the old me… For years. Then something hit me. Maybe I can’t find him… because he’s not lost. He’s dead and gone. [SAMPLE STUTTERS — MASSIVE BEAT DROP] [VERSE 1] Yeah— I keep searching through my memories looking for that man, Before the losses, before life started changing all my plans, Before anxiety came knocking, before grief moved inside, Before I learned how many pieces of a person slowly die. People tell me, “You’ve changed.” No shit. What’d you expect? You can’t bury people that you love and walk away unaffected. You can’t carry disappointment like a weight across your spine, Then expect the same reflection when you finally look inside. I miss the old me. But I’m starting to forget Exactly who I’m missing— Or if he even did exist. Maybe memories make legends out of people that we were, And I’ve been chasing down a ghost… that couldn’t survive what occurred. [HOOK — haunting vocal sample] Dead and gone… That old me’s dead and gone. I’ve been calling out his name like somehow he’s coming home. Dead and gone… Maybe I’ve known it all along. You can’t resurrect a version of yourself that life already moved beyond. [VERSE 2 — drums get dirtier] I remember being fearless— Or maybe I was young. Didn’t know enough about this world to know what could become. Didn’t calculate disaster. Didn’t question every road. Didn’t understand that losing someone changes what you know. Then death walked through the doorway. Grief followed behind. Fear pulled up a chair and started rearranging my mind. Suddenly the grown man felt like seven years old, Looking around for somebody who could tell him where to go. But nobody came. That’s when the truth got cold: Sometimes the person who protected you becomes somebody you can only hold inside your memory. And now you’re standing where they stood, Trying to convince yourself you’re gonna somehow be as good. [BEAT CUT] Maybe that’s why I can’t find myself. I’ve been looking backward. [VERSE 3 — SAMPLE FLIPS] What if the old me needs to stay dead? Hear me out. Maybe that motherfucker couldn’t carry what I’m carrying now. Maybe the man before the losses would’ve folded from the weight. Maybe becoming somebody different wasn’t failure— it was fate. Every funeral changed me. Every goodbye left a mark. Every night I fought my thoughts alone taught me about the dark. But darkness taught me something that the daylight never could: You don’t really know your strength when everything is good. Strength gets introduced when life takes away your choice. When your hands are fucking shaking— and you still find your voice. So rest in peace to who I was. I ain’t digging up that grave. I appreciate the man he was… but look at who he made. [HOOK — BIGGER] Dead and gone… Yeah, that old me’s dead and gone. I kept begging him to save me when I’ve been saving me all along. Dead and gone… Now I finally understand. Maybe losing who I used to be is how I became this man. [VERSE 4 — DEEP, CONTROLLED] So this ain’t resurrection. It’s introduction. Hello. I don’t think we’ve properly met. I’m the man who survived everything you haven’t killed yet. Got some fear. Got some anger. Got some nights I ain’t proud of. Got some scars underneath that I don’t always talk of. But I’m here. That’s enough for tonight. Tomorrow we’ll build. One road. One fear. One promise fulfilled. And when my mind starts asking, “Where’s the man that we knew?” I ain’t searching anymore. I’ll tell it— “He brought us this far. Now it’s my turn to carry you.” [FINAL HOOK — FULL SAMPLE / MONSTROUS DRUMS] DEAD AND GONE! Let the old man rest. DEAD AND GONE! He already gave his best. Every loss changed something. Every scar came along. But just because the old me died… DON’T MEAN THE NEW ME’S WRONG. I ain’t going backward. Ain’t searching anymore. There’s nothing waiting for me behind that old familiar door. So rest in peace to yesterday. Tomorrow— we move on. [OUTRO — original soul sample returns] VOICE: You sure he’s gone? MAN: Yeah. You miss him? Every day. Then why aren’t you going back? MAN: Because he couldn’t come with me where I’m going. [VINYL CUT]
