Keep That Sh*t Online

[Intro] Terminally online… My head buzzin’ like a transformer at 2 AM… Somewhere between a meme compilation and psychological damage… [Verse 1] Senior year goblin with a half-broke desktop Fan blades coughing cigarette lungs, heat sink red-hot LOLWUT.tv looked assembled from malware and Mountain Dew Like Geocities survived and started streaming snuff to you One click Happy Tree Friends, next click moral collapse AMVs and public freakouts stitched with grindhouse trash Bootleg codecs installed like accepting cursed relics Every entry felt hepatitic and parasitic First time seeing Gummo felt chemically unsafe Like the worst of humanity with a gross spaghetti plate Then A Scanner Darkly had my brain buffering new ways Reality outlined in rotoscope migraines for days Meanwhile YouTube still innocent Cats on skateboards and chocolate rain sentiment Then came the feature presentation: Flick called MACHINE GIRL The type of VHS that would make G. G. Allen‘s head twirl Schoolgirl revenge with the forearm minigun Blood pressure sprinkler system hitting everyone And that shit was hilarious Like Evil Dead 2 but Asian and delirious Heads exploding like ketchup packets in a dryer drum I’m laughing thinking: The fuck have I become? [Hook] Try explaining these movies to normal people Yeah bro, chainsaw gayshas fighting in a meat cathedral Whole room looking at me like I poisoned the communion wine Like “you should probably keep that shit online” (That’s right) [Verse 2] Then the rabbit hole widened like a shotgun wound in claymation Asian extreme cinema seeped in like radiation Subtitles moving past my reading level Meanwhile somebody getting chainsawed by a cyber devil Tokyo Gore Police looked like Troma funded by the Yakuza Every frame screamed: Censors would kill this producer Mutants growing weaponized anatomy from trauma Like Cronenberg took Four Loko and bath-salts with soda-water Riki-Oh punching through torsos with prison-yard fury Organs flying out the rib cage cartoonishly blurry Physics packed their bags halfway through the first scene Dude folded a warden like origami made of protein Then Ichi the Killer… Man, that one felt different Not goofy absurdity, more cinematic terrorism Meekay directing chaos like jazz with switchblades Sadism, slapstick doing cocaine in adjacent lanes CRT glow painting my face corpse blue Microwave burrito, and marijuana residue Master class in Asian gore, front row in homeroom Super ninjas, human sushi and arterial monsoons [Hook] Try explaining these movies to normal people Yeah bro, mutant schoolgirls who are yokai and lethal Whole room looking at me like I poisoned the communion wine Like “you should probably keep that shit online” (That’s right) [Verse 3] Back when algorithms ain’t sterilize discovery You found art through digital skullduggery. Dead links, fan forums, sketchy uploads in six parts Every movie felt transmitted through a cursed dark Now everything streamlined, sanitized, optimized Back then the internet felt genuinely alive Could stumble from memes into an existential mess Then into women sword-fighting with katana breasts That era built strange cinephiles Kids raised by bootlegs and Limewire files Where horror, hip-hop heads and anime intersected All culturally poisoned but somehow connected Still remember shutting the monitor off at dawn Room dead silent, birds chirping, brain gone Like I traveled dimensions through corrupted AVI files Came back smelling like fake blood and burned wires Nowadays if I mention these flicks at a dinner date Conversation dies quicker than dudes in a Meekay tape somewhere out there another weird kid clicks a hidden link to watch a moviel and permanently rewire his shit [Hook] Try explaining these movies to normal people Yeah bro, robo strippers fighting undead and evil Whole room looking at me like I poisoned the communion wine Like “you should probably keep that shit online” (That’s right) Yeah I should probably keep this shit online [spoken] Rest in peace Nishimura