Married to a Dietitian (Send Help)

male vocals, guitar, country, rap, annoyed, medium tempo

She’s readin’ every label like a food detective,
"Look at these ingredients, that’s so defective!"
I’m like, "Come on babe, give me a break!"
But she’s shaking her head like, "You know what's at stake."

Pre-Chorus:
Fried foods are banned, they’re a danger zone,
No fast food places, it’s all homemade scones.
I’m stuck with chia seeds, and weird things like yeast—
I just wanted fries, now I’m a health freak beast.

Chorus:
Married to a dietitian, F My Life!
I just wanted some pizza, but I’m eatin’ kale.
She’s sneakin' in the flax and the ginger root,
I can’t even look at the menu at a fast food booth.
Oh, I’m trapped in a world of whole grains and greens,
Married to a diet tishan, what’s it all mean?

Verse 2:
She’s changin' my recipes, I don’t know what’s what,
She’s turnin’ my brownies into some chia nut cut.
“More fiber, more protein,” she’s got her list,
But I’m thinkin' “Where’s the chocolate? Is that missed?”

And the teenage daughter, she’s got complaints,
"Mom, not the spirulina, it smells like paint!"
But she’s on a mission, can't stop her now,
Making me eat tempeh, I don't even know how.

Pre-Chorus:
No processed snacks, she won’t let that slide,
She’s swapping out butter for avocado, I’ve tried.
I just wanted a burger, something fried and hot,
Instead I’m munching on nuts—give me that fry spot!

Chorus:
Married to a diet tishan, F My Life!
She’s countin' calories, I’m stuck in this hell.
No salt, no sugar, just turmeric toast,
Is this really what I signed up for? Please, I need a dose.
Oh, I’m trapped in a world of flax seed and keen wah,
Married to a diet tishan, and now I’ve seen it all.

Bridge:
I’m dreamin’ of a Big Mac, it’s all I crave,
But she’s makin' me try these acai bowls—god please save me!
I just wanna dip my fries in ketchup and chill,
But she’s handin’ me kale chips, she has no chill

Verse 3:
Now we’re at a party, there’s cake on display,
She whispers, “Just one bite? You’ll thank me someday.”
I’m dodgin’ her glare while I sneak a slice,
But she’s already swapped it for beet juice and rice.

I’m hidin’ hot Cheetos out in the shed,
While she’s meal-preppin’ tofu with cauliflower bread.
It’s love and it’s madness, this dietary dance,
Guess I’ll never again wear my stretchy pants.

Chorus:
Married to a diet tishan, F My Life!
I just wanted a soda, but she’s givin’ me kombucha—oh well.
She’s sneakin' in the veggies, won’t stop her fight,
I’m gonna be healthy… or die tryin’ tonight.
Oh, I’m trapped in a world of good-for-you foods,
Married to a diet tishan, I’m stuck with this mood.

Outro:
She says “You’ll thank me when you're 90 and spry,”
But all I want’s a burger and a slice of pie.
Married to a diet tishan, it’s a health crusade,
But at the end of the day... I just need some lemonade.

2973/7500

Verse 1: Woke up this mornin', coffee's black as night But she’s pullin’ out keen wha, I’m like “This ain't right.” She says, “A green smoothie’s what you need today,” But I just want a donut—sugar’s my soulmate. She’s readin’ every label like a food detective, "Look at these ingredients, that’s so defective!" I’m like, "Come on babe, give me a break!" But she’s shaking her head like, "You know what's at stake." Pre-Chorus: Fried foods are banned, they’re a danger zone, No fast food places, it’s all homemade scones. I’m stuck with chia seeds, and weird things like yeast— I just wanted fries, now I’m a health freak beast. Chorus: Married to a dietitian, F My Life! I just wanted some pizza, but I’m eatin’ kale. She’s sneakin' in the flax and the ginger root, I can’t even look at the menu at a fast food booth. Oh, I’m trapped in a world of whole grains and greens, Married to a diet tishan, what’s it all mean? Verse 2: She’s changin' my recipes, I don’t know what’s what, She’s turnin’ my brownies into some chia nut cut. “More fiber, more protein,” she’s got her list, But I’m thinkin' “Where’s the chocolate? Is that missed?” And the teenage daughter, she’s got complaints, "Mom, not the spirulina, it smells like paint!" But she’s on a mission, can't stop her now, Making me eat tempeh, I don't even know how. Pre-Chorus: No processed snacks, she won’t let that slide, She’s swapping out butter for avocado, I’ve tried. I just wanted a burger, something fried and hot, Instead I’m munching on nuts—give me that fry spot! Chorus: Married to a diet tishan, F My Life! She’s countin' calories, I’m stuck in this hell. No salt, no sugar, just turmeric toast, Is this really what I signed up for? Please, I need a dose. Oh, I’m trapped in a world of flax seed and keen wah, Married to a diet tishan, and now I’ve seen it all. Bridge: I’m dreamin’ of a Big Mac, it’s all I crave, But she’s makin' me try these acai bowls—god please save me! I just wanna dip my fries in ketchup and chill, But she’s handin’ me kale chips, she has no chill Verse 3: Now we’re at a party, there’s cake on display, She whispers, “Just one bite? You’ll thank me someday.” I’m dodgin’ her glare while I sneak a slice, But she’s already swapped it for beet juice and rice. I’m hidin’ hot Cheetos out in the shed, While she’s meal-preppin’ tofu with cauliflower bread. It’s love and it’s madness, this dietary dance, Guess I’ll never again wear my stretchy pants. Chorus: Married to a diet tishan, F My Life! I just wanted a soda, but she’s givin’ me kombucha—oh well. She’s sneakin' in the veggies, won’t stop her fight, I’m gonna be healthy… or die tryin’ tonight. Oh, I’m trapped in a world of good-for-you foods, Married to a diet tishan, I’m stuck with this mood. Outro: She says “You’ll thank me when you're 90 and spry,” But all I want’s a burger and a slice of pie. Married to a diet tishan, it’s a health crusade, But at the end of the day... I just need some lemonade.

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