When I Won't Vanish

I was told to be silent But then put on display I was told to be violent And they'd tell me I needed medication for what I'm sayin I was trained young to believe I'm the only one who wouldn't cry when my bones would break From the bludgeoning of those who needed me to stay obedient But stay quiet Stay obedient Stay holding space for everyone but myself unless I'm useful to them What kind of love asks you to vanish? What kind of care watches you suffer and laugh? This was a lie early on that I meant anything to them What kind of truth is harboring crime? What kind of leaders follow a line of manual instructions to kill A babies mind? You're the blind ones I have memories that come and go And when I start to know more, what's gone on with me Where the scars come from Where any freedom was How could a kid be physically caged and yet raised well at the same time? You needed temporary proof with photos to hide your crimes But say to me stay quiet Stay obedient Stay holding space for everyone but myself unless I'm useful to them What kind of love asks us to vanish? What kind of care watches us suffer while they laugh? This was a lie early on that I meant anything to them What kind of truth is harboring crime? What kind of leaders follow a line of manual instructions to kill A babies mind? You're the blind ones It never was me I stand strong I am the correct one I am the one who survived who you hated There's many kids like me from their own lifetime We're the ones you need quiet Because you know what we say is true And if the people knew they'd come after you