Magnetic Tape Delay

“The Silence I Keep” Verse 1 I know the kind of loneliness that lingers when the room is full, The kind that makes a thousand voices sound like something beautiful That never really reaches you, just circles like a funeral, Then leaves you with a chest so tight it feels almost unusable. I know the kind of pain that doesn’t cry out, it just settles in, It hides beneath your humor and makes strangers think you’re heaven-sent, While every night you lie awake with thoughts that turn repetitive, And wonder why your whole damn life feels temporary, delicate. I’ve watched so many people come with language warm and generous, They swore that I was worth the fight, the time, the trust, the tenderness, But every promise ever made dissolved into evasiveness, And now I speak in half-lit prayers and call that shit my medicine. Pre-Chorus And all I ever wanted was a heart that would not disappear, A soul that wouldn’t shake my hand, then leave me drowning year by year, Somebody who could see the depth, the damage, and the fear, And still remain when all the light inside of me was hard to hear. Chorus I live with a pain that is patient and waits in the dark of my bones, A slow suffocation that follows me home when I’m already alone, A hollow cathedral where all of the people I loved used to glow, Now all that is left is the ache of their absence and nowhere to go. I live with a grief that gets louder whenever the world settles down, A private collapse that keeps smiling in public, then quietly drowns, I reach for a hand, but I’m only reminded how empty this gets, ’Cause everyone leaves me with echoes, and I’m the one left with the rest. Verse 2 There’s something about being needed that makes me forget who I am, I hand out the softest parts of me like they won’t break inside their hands, I build people homes inside my chest and call it fate, call it romance, Then stand inside the ruins later trying hard to understand. Why I’m the one who stays awake when everybody else moves on, Why I can hear old laughter months and years after the moment’s gone, Why every memory starts sweet and ends up tasting venomous, Why every bond I thought was real collapses into distance first. I know what it means to be surrounded and still feel invisible, To hold a conversation while your insides turn so cynical, To say “I’m good” with such conviction even you believe the ritual, Then drive home to a darkened house that feels abandoned and spiritual. Pre-Chorus And all I ever wanted was a heart that wouldn’t make me guess, A love that wouldn’t fade the moment life became a little less Convenient, clean, and easy—something deeper than a temporary fix, Someone who’d sit with me inside the hurt instead of leaving it. Chorus I live with a pain that is patient and waits in the dark of my bones, A slow suffocation that follows me home when I’m already alone, A hollow cathedral where all of the people I loved used to glow, Now all that is left is the ache of their absence and nowhere to go. I live with a grief that gets louder whenever the world settles down, A private collapse that keeps smiling in public, then quietly drowns, I reach for a hand, but I’m only reminded how empty this gets, ’Cause everyone leaves me with echoes, and I’m the one left with the rest. Bridge Maybe I learned how to love like a man with a wound that won’t close, Like somebody begging for spring while still buried in deep winter snow, Maybe I carry abandonment deep in the shape of my soul, And people can feel it the moment they touch me, then choose to let go. Maybe the silence has studied me longer than anyone has, Maybe it knows all the cracks in my voice and the weight of my past, Maybe I’m tired of surviving on scraps of connection and scraps Of affection that vanish the minute I start to believe they might last. Breakdown So I sit with the pain when the night comes in heavy and slow, And I think of the names that once made this life feel a little like home, Now each one’s a bruise, each one’s a truth, each one’s a hole in the floor, And I don’t know what hurts me more—losing them, or needing them more. Final Chorus I live with a pain that is patient and waits in the dark of my bones, A slow suffocation that follows me home when I’m already alone, A hollow cathedral where all of the people I loved used to glow, Now all that is left is the ache of their absence and nowhere to go. I live with a grief that gets louder whenever the world settles down, A private collapse that keeps smiling in public, then quietly drowns, I reach for a hand, but I’m only reminded how empty this gets, ’Cause everyone leaves me with echoes… and I’m the one left with the rest. Outro And I’m the one left with the rest, The silence, the ache, the emptiness, The love I gave, the pain I kept, The names I speak to nothingness.