been looping my nights like a scratched cd chasing a future that won’t chase me ] smoke in my lungs, burning out on the low but i smile at the static, i’m letting it go refresh button pressed til my soul goes sore game over screen flashing, i still want more staring at the ceiling, the silence bites i don’t fake my prayers, but i fake my life caught in the hallway with no exit sign grabbing at air, but it slips every time living like glitter that’s lost in the drain stuck in a loop that don’t know my name i’m just waitin’ for the end but i don’t wanna die wearing eyeliner excuses with my bloodshot eyes how many midnights til i lose this fight? trapped in the middle, refusing the night waitin’, waitin’ — the clock eats me alive i’m breathing but fuck, i don’t know why walking thru days like a mannequin grin lost in my tabs, no log-out again i keep pushing forward on a treadmill flame burnin my sneakers, forgetting my name piles of assignments, they don’t feel real scrolling to numb what i shouldn’t feel heavy as glitter that cuts when it spills i’m rehearsing my lines for a personal kill swallowed in circles, can’t glitch out the maze numb to the madness but i crave the blaze yeah i’m still ticking but i’m killing time the ending’s behind me, pretending it’s mine i’m just waitin’ for the end but i don’t wanna die wearing eyeliner excuses with my bloodshot eyes how many midnights til i lose this fight? trapped in the middle, refusing the night waitin’, waitin’ — the clock eats me alive i’m breathing but fuck, i don’t know why clock hands scratch like claws on my skin neon caffeine, insomnia’s hymn if i drop the mask, will the world set me free or just turn me ghost on another lcd? i’ve been timing my heartbreaks to the rhythm of the traffic lights, keeping score of every almost-lover, every half-truth kiss, every cigarette i swore was the last one, and maybe it’s sick but i want the collapse, i crave the fireworks in my veins when i realize i’m not okay, i whisper my name into bathroom mirrors like a curse, like a dare, like maybe the girl in the glass will finally blink back at me, i keep promising myself i’ll fall in love with the sunrise, but i always end up fucking the midnight instead, and if chaos is the only language my body knows how to speak, then please — let me stutter until the clock forgives me. i’m just waitin’ for the end but i don’t wanna die wearing eyeliner excuses with my bloodshot eyes how many midnights til i lose this fight? trapped in the middle, refusing the night waitin’, waitin’ — the clock eats me alive i’m breathing but fuck, i don’t know why
