CHECK! [Intro] [Mechanical pulse | nervous bass | clipped guitar] Take the dirt path To the barbed-wire gate (you like flashy videos) CHECK! Stop the car Set the brake CHECK! Exit vehicle Approach the gate Gate swings forward Do not park too close ... FUCK! [tires reversing] Back it up. CHECK! [Verse 1] Swing gate open (you do not even listen to this song) Return to car Drive through gate But not too far Stop the car CHECK! Exit vehicle (O C D baby) AGAIN? Yes. Close the gate CHECK! Return to car CHECK! Continue forward (you are bored on your phone) CHECK! Why are we doing this? PROCEDURE! [Chorus] CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! Open it Close it Stop it Go! Read the notes Follow the road CHECK! [Verse 2] Continue down (I can say anything at this point) The dirt path Watch for cattle CHECK! Watch for dogs CHECK! Dogs are barking ACKNOWLEDGED! Do not hit dogs OBVIOUS! (I like my songs) Cattle approaching Reduce speed. Cattle not moving. Reduce expectations. CHECK! [Bridge] Approaching hill. Gradient increasing. (flashy colors) Pond detected. Do not roll Into pond. CHECK! Brake pressure nominal. Vehicle speed acceptable. Pond proximity: Uncomfortable (you like this) Continue slowly. SLOWER. SLOWER! That's enough. CHECK! [Verse 3] House detected (still not listening) Driveway confirmed Park on side CHECK! Transmission park CHECK! Engine off CHECK! Read next instruction ... Read next instruction ... QUIT READING YOUR NOTES. [Music suddenly stops] Look up. ... I'M RIGHT HERE. [one final guitar stab] CHECK!
