Nothing To Me

[Verse 1] I wake up in the morning, To the stench of sweat and adrenaline, Night terrors cut through me with my sins I can't fight back, they know were I've been I try to stand up, but the floor won't keep. Shatters under me, while the fall is steep Too late to fight back, the damage is done, Another battle lost 'for the day's even begun. I want to crawl back down, erase the stains Yeah I want... to break these goddamn chains. I want to change, stop being this deranged Yeah I want... Yeah I want... (Yeah I want...) Yeah I want... .....but I won't. [Pre-chorus] No, no, no, no, really. I wish I could say 'I'm sorry' But the words elude me They flew away, wanted to be sincere I have regrets, but none of them clear I just wish I'd told you while you were still dear.... to me! [Chorus] But no no no— Instead I fought the sky Closed my eyes! barely even tried! Blinded myself only to breathe in lies You tried to make me see Apologized when it should have been me Didn't try to escape even when it was plain to see You'd become nothing to me [Verse 2] I look around and I can't see All is doom that's all it reeks I'm fighting shadows like they know the truth Then running away as they want their due I'm just lost! dumb! a complete idiot A tainted fuck stuck in a self-made riot A victim of false-importance The abuser to my own innocence! [Pre-chorus] No no no no, really, I should say 'I'm sorry'... But the words elude me.... While the why I see all too clearly [Chorus] II fought the fucking sky, like it'd have saved my pride Closed my eyes barely even tried Blinded myself only to breathe in lies You tried to make me see Apologized when it should have been me Didn't try to escape even when it was plain to see You'd become nothing to me. [Descent] I keep breaking what I swear I won't Say I'll get help only to then don't I'm running circles! I'm rushing down the drain A race to the bottom filing my complains Meanwhile you're there, watching the wreck Wondering where the heck's that guy you met Is he still there? Somewhere in there? Unsure what to tell you, but he seems elsewhere. I wish I could say that he's gotten aware No longer stuck in his despair That he saw the flare and his mind's repaired.... But lying simply ain't fair! [Descent -- Part II] So no no no, truth is that Even if he shows up in the morning Acting all fine for a whole damn minute Maybe even smiles like he's finally got it You still recognize a lie when you see it! So shit fuck no! His hazy mind is still reeking Filled to the brim with booze and wandering Almost fried to its core completely surrendering But as he tries to remind himself, maybe he's realizing? That he doesn't like how the hell he's feeling No! The smile is fading The mask keeps falling Though maybe he senses it Getting help now would be liberating The saving grace he's been missing That all he has to do is rise and face it 'Cause even himself has to be seeing Where the fuck this road is leading leading And as he gets aware As the drug stops to wear As he seems ready to leave the snare He starts to get scared But maybe this time he'll fare maybe this time he'll get out of despair nah... runs out of there..... Yeah... sometimes shit ain't fair... [Bridge] No, no, no, no, no, no, really. I wish I could say 'I'm sorry' But the words elude me They flew away, wanted to be sincere I have regrets but none of them clear I just wish I'd told you while you were still dear.... to me! [Final Chorus] But, no no no Instead I fought the sky Closed my eyes didn't even try Blinded myself only to breathe in lies You tried to make me see Apologized when it should have been me Didn't try to escape even when it was plain to see I'll never change I'm only me Already lost far away at sea Drowned long ago and it's my ghost you see Numbing himself to his reality But I'm where I chose to be I just wish I would feel sorry no no no no no no no no no no I just wish I would feel sorry