[Voices: MC E- unpretty slightly nasal tenor, fast rap flow, sardonic delivery, clipped consonants Kid Q - smooth baritone, looser rhythm, more playful tone] [Intro - both MCs, rhythmically chanted together over drum build] Slytherin girl, cold as ice You’ve fooled us once, and we'll be fools twice Slytherin girl, cold as ice You’ve fooled us once, and we'll be fools twice [Verse 1 - MC E rapping, distorted guitar riff underneath] I saw her in the Great Hall, third seat from the door Platinum hair fallin’ like a prophecy I can’t ignore Malfoid — yeah, that's what I call her in my head Better pureblood credentials than the finest thoroughbred She's got those supple hands, wandwork perfectly precise I’d like her to work *my* wand, but she don’t play nice She quotes the Sacred Twenty-Eight like she’s reading a hymn And she likes beefy men, but you can call me Slim Jim I’m not horsin’ around, that’s a Thestral silk gown Might as well call her “Ruby,” ‘cause she took my love to town She shot me a cold glance, then looked right on through And I've been writing sonnets ever since, oh, what’s a man to do [Pre-Chorus - both MCs, taunting, building energy, guitar swelling] She'll never love a mudblood She'll never love a half-blood She'll never love a mudblood She'll never love a — [Chorus - shouted, anthemic, full-band surge, both MCs together] Malfoid! Wicked witch of Slytherin The Ice Queen Supreme of the dungeon den Malfoid! She'd sooner hex us into toads But our love just grows, the colder that she goes [Verse 2 - Kid Q, bass-forward mix] Okay, step back, and let me state my case I've been writing love spells since second year, just in case She's read every dark tome in the restricted section But my notes? She casts them in a bonfire of rejection Said I was “beneath contempt" in Defense Against Dark Arts Instead of scribing warding glyphs, I was drawing little hearts Social condescension is practically her hobby, But what I wouldn’t give, for one day to be her Dobby I look at her: lean legs, tight shirt, and perky, erm wit But when she looks my way, she looks like she stepped in — Fresh bat guano, or hippogriff scat She looks at me like I’m ratty like the old Sorting Hat I've been sick with love for her since I walked through Dumble's door Can't decide if I should give up or love her even more [Pre-Chorus - both MCs, taunting, building energy] She'll never love a mudblood She'll never love a half-blood She'll never love a mudblood She'll never love a — [Chorus - shouted, anthemic, full-band surge, both MCs together] Malfoid! Wicked witch of Slytherin The Ice Queen Supreme of the dungeon den Malfoid! She'd sooner hex us into toads But our love just grows, the colder that she goes [Bridge - both MCs trading single bars, increasingly agitated, guitar drops to single-string tension riff] [MC E] Can’t you see? She smiled at me in Arithmancy [Kid Q] Are you mad, lad? She was clearly looking at me [MC E] You were three seats back, her glance met my eyes [Kid Q] Your must be blind! You couldn't hex a barn door if you tried! [MC E] At least I have a real broom, that stick of yours can't even fly [Kid Q] She’d most certainly fly with me! My skill level is sky-high! [MC E] Shyeah right! Your skills are played like your name was Old Maid! [Kid Q] Not so! I’m a menace like Dennis, you’re lame like Randy Quaid! [Verse 3 - both MCs, now competing, echoing one another, guitar drops to half-time feel] [Kid Q] Don’t you know if she would fly with me, then I would fly with her Cause there’s not a wizard trick I wouldn’t try with her There's only one dark art I wouldn't deny for her And if she gave me half a glance, then I would testify that she should [MC E] Fly with me! Yeah, I would fly with her Cause there’s not a wizard trick I wouldn’t try with her There's only one dark art I wouldn't deny for her, but Do I have a chance? [Pre-Chorus Hook - both MCs, overlapping, call-and-response, full band re-enters, anthemic but tinged with resignation] [MC E] Could she love a mudblood? [Kid Q] No, she’d only eschew you [MC E] I swear, it looks like it’s love! [Kid Q] No, she's just looking through you [Both together] My status is void and I cannot avoid the flash of the wrath of Malfoid [Kid Q] Well could she love this mudblood? [MC E] No, shed only eschew you [Kid Q] Come on, it looks like it’s love! [MC E] No, man, she's looking through you [Both together] My status is void and I cannot avoid the flash of the wrath of Malfoid [Outro Chorus - both MCs together, guitar riff softening, drums steady] Malfoid... Wicked witch of Slytherin The Ice Queen Supreme of the dungeon den Malfoid! She'd sooner hex us into toads But our love just grows, the colder that she goes And there she goes... [spoken, together] And we're still here. [Outro - drum fill, guitar riff out, both MCs together, chanted] Slytherin girl, cold as ice You’ve fooled us once, and we'll be fools twice (repeat twice) [Spoken] Wait. Isn't she a dude? [stinger beat]
