Package Thief

At two-fourteen it sat beneath my camera, there's proof At two-forty-seven, empty porch, the box went poof By sundown I had night vision covering porch and gate Eleven bucks of merchandise, but principles have weight The teenager has no day job The retiree has time to kill Those raccoons work in shifts at night Every suspect fits the bill Package thief, or was it the wind My shipment disappeared, I'm going all in Twelve cameras, a spreadsheet, and a theory pinned To the wall, I know it looks bad, but I'm committed Theft or nature, chance or fate I only want the record straight I screened the footage, frame by frame, a human shape or tree Then wrote five pages, single-spaced, while sipping my tea The mailman said, I left it there, his tone evasive Three watch groups, one Reddit thread All purely investigative Carol's tote could conceal a crime A drone could strike at any time That final digit seems askew I typed it right, I always do Package thief, or was it the wind A porch-front phantom, disciplined Who breaks the sacred covenant of 'leave at door' For a humidifier filter (Seriously) Package thief, have dignity Two-fourteen, package confirmed Two-twenty-two, squirrel, no contact Two-thirty-eight, mailman return (Negative, it's a bush) Two-forty-one, wind event moderate Two-forty-four, second squirrel (Or same squirrel, return trip) Two-forty-seven, package absent Case status, unsolved Emotional status, unwell They found it Four-two-oh-seven, I live at four-two-three-seven One mistyped digit, a driver on stop fifteen Dave brought it over three days late He still has my drill, a different loop Package found, it wasn't the wind No thief, no scheme, no cardinal sin Wrong address, driver's honest mistake Twelve hundred dollars I cannot take Back to the store, cameras mine permanently Case closed, I've changed fundamentally Now every squirrel has a file The package came back My peace never did I'm keeping the cameras You never know (Camera four, wide angle) (Just in case)