im not gonna make it *live*

hey everybody how we doing tonight? hope everyone is having a good one so... like.... i havent really been great ya know? its like no matter what i do i just cant get shit right its okay, im okay really but um this song is kinda personal.... hope you all enjoy... i trace the outlines on my wrists failures i'd rather forget but i carry the weight with me these scars wont ever go away i run my fingers through the mars the blemishes on my skin every cigarette burn, every cut and bruise and the broken parts that never healed right now all i'm left with is sorrow and nightmares in place of memory when all i see is darkness how could i not say hello friend when all i know is horrors how could i refuse the taste of black when all i know is breaking down how could i not take a swim just to drown when all i know happens in the night how could i ever hope to see the light i eat another pill, take another drug anything i can to help slip from this pain if i'm not numb, a dumb talking head i get lost on the way and want to wind up dead ive cultivated so many fears bred so many god damn anxieties that it feels like hyperventilating is just the normal way to breathe i'm not gonna make it, i'm not gonna make it, i'm not gonna make it, THERES NO WAY I'LL MAKE IT!!! its the same road every single day a path leading to nowhere except an empty broken home there isn't any promise i could make nothing i could do or say i dont think that i can take it but for appearance sake i pretend and fake it MY EYES GROW DIMMER with each open and close MY END GETS CLOSER with each tick of the clock MY MIND GROWS COLDER with every thought i think LET THE SUFFERING END LET ME STOP THIS WORTHLESS LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when all i see is darkness how could i not say hello friend when all i know is horrors how could i refuse the taste of black when all i know is breaking down how could i not take a swim just to drown when all i know happens in the night how could i ever hope to see the light when all i see is darkness how could i not say hello friend when all i know is horrors how could i refuse the taste of black when all i know is breaking down how could i not take a swim just to drown when all i know happens in the night how could i ever hope to see the light