(Intro — A door creaking open. A child's whisper. A heartbeat. A low 808 growl.) I sat alone in that room 'til the morning... Crying, "They're coming for me"... But they never came... So I became what they should've been scared of... (beat drops — slow, creeping, heavy) --- (Verse 1) I sat alone in bed 'til the morning light crept in Crying, convinced the shadows were coming for my skin Tried to hold these secrets inside my ribs like a cage But my mind's a disease that don't fade with age I'm bigger than my body, I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than the demons that tried to claim my bones And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me" I can't help this awful energy Goddamn right, you should be scared of me Who is in control — I still don't know But I'm learning to let go of what I can't hold --- (Pre-Chorus) I paced around for hours on empty, nothing in my chest Jumped at the slightest sounds, never got no rest Couldn't stand the person living inside my head So I turned all the mirrors around and faced myself instead --- (Chorus) I'm a fuck up — that's what they named me I'm a letdown — that's what they raised me to be I'm the reason the room gets quiet I'm the shadow that started the riot Fuck up — yeah, I own that sound Can't break what's already been shattered to the ground Fuck up — say it loud, say it clear I'm the monster that outgrew the fear --- (Verse 2) I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head They beg me to write them so they'll never die when I'm dead I've grown familiar with the demons that crawl through my mind They beg me to speak so they can finally see the light I used to fight 'em off, tried to push 'em all away But they've been here since I was nine, they ain't going anyway So I let 'em breathe, let 'em walk, let 'em talk their talk Now I'm the one the nightmares watch when they walk I'm bigger than the cage I built inside my chest I'm colder than the love that left me in a mess I'm meaner than the lies I whispered to myself at night I'm still here after all those fights And all the voices cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me" I can't help this dangerous energy Goddamn right, you should be scared of me Who is in control — maybe I've known all along Maybe the fuck up was never wrong --- (Pre-Chorus) I'm bigger than my body, I'm colder than this place I'm meaner than the demons that tried to steal my face And all the kids cried out, but I'm not the one to blame I'm just the product of a house that made the pain a game --- (Chorus) I'm a fuck up — that's what they named me I'm a letdown — that's what they raised me to be I'm the reason the room gets quiet I'm the shadow that started the riot Fuck up — yeah, I own that sound Can't break what's already been shattered to the ground Fuck up — say it loud, say it clear I'm the monster that outgrew the fear --- (Bridge — Everything drops. Just breathing. A whisper. A single piano note.) I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head... They beg me to write them so they'll never die when I'm dead... And I've grown familiar with the demons that sleep in my chest... They beg me to write them so I'll never die when I'm dead... (beat slowly returns — building, swelling) I used to ask who was in control... Now I know... It was always me... The fuck up... The letdown... The mistake that learned how to breathe... --- (Final Chorus — Full chaos, all voices, triumphant in the wreckage.) I'M A FUCK UP — THAT'S WHAT THEY NAMED ME! I'M A LETDOWN — THAT'S WHAT THEY RAISED ME TO BE! I'M THE REASON THE ROOM GETS QUIET! I'M THE SHADOW THAT WON THE RIOT! FUCK UP — YEAH, I OWN THAT SOUND! CAN'T KILL WHAT'S ALREADY BEEN BROKEN DOWN! FUCK UP — SAY IT LOUD, SAY IT PROUD! I'M THE MONSTER THAT OUTGREW THE CROWD! --- (Outro — Footsteps walking away. A door closing. A final whisper.) I sat alone in that room 'til the morning... But I'm not crying anymore... I'm not waiting for them to come... I'm what they should've been scared of... (door clicks shut) (silence)
