[Verse] It's a Craigslist jungle in a Linked-In Vest The "interview" link led me to this mess A shed with a padlock and a flickering light But I showed up ready to put up a fight [Chorus] Hire me don't kidnap me I’ve got dreams to sell My resume’s sharp and I write it well Vision and grit packed tight in my bag Plus a 9 millimeter in case things go bad [Verse 2] This ain’t job hunting it’s survival at best Where job prospect dreams turn into stress I’m not here for games or a crime scene twist Just a paycheck man so I can exist [Verse 3] They said "we're hiring" but the vibe ain't right A handshake that lingers and a cold invite Bills piling up like bricks on my chest Tie me to purpose, not to your desk [Chorus] Hire me don't kidnap me I’ve got dreams to sell My resume’s sharp and I write it well Vision and grit packed tight in my bag Plus a 9 millimeter in case things go bad [Bridge] I’ve got vision. And work ethic And a 9 millimeter in my tote just to check the job market. If your office is in a van with no windows and “competitive pay” spray-painted on the side, just know I come strapped… with experience. [Chorus] Hire me don't kidnap me I’ve got dreams to sell My resume’s sharp and I write it well Vision and grit packed tight in my bag Plus a 9 millimeter in case things go bad [Verse 1] It’s a Craigslist jungle in a Linked-In Vest The "interview" vibe had me second-guessed A warehouse door and a blackout van But I brought pepper spray and a backup plan [Chorus] Hire me, don’t kidnap me, I’ve got dreams to fund My résumé’s tight and my hustle’s no front Vision and grit packed snug in my bag Plus a 9 millimeter in case this goes bad [Verse 2] This ain’t job hunting, it’s a Hunger Games arc Where HR ghosts you and recruiters leave marks I’m not here to network in a crawlspace trap I just want a W-2 and a welcome app [Verse 3] They said “great culture,” but the energy’s cursed That handshake felt like a background search Bills breathing heavy like a Netflix debt So tie me to purpose, not unpaid regret [Chorus] Hire me, don’t kidnap me, I’ve got dreams to fund My résumé’s tight and my hustle’s no front Vision and grit packed snug in my bag Plus a 9 millimeter in case this goes bad [Bridge] I’ve got vision. And receipts. And a 9 millimeter in my tote, because optimism alone won’t cut it. If your job site has no exit signs…And your dress code includes a blindfold… [Chorus – Final] Hire me, don’t kidnap me, I’ve got dreams to fund My résumé’s tight and my hustle’s no front Vision and grit packed snug in my bag Plus a 9 millimeter in case this goes bad
