**FOUR NAMES IN THE SOUNDBOARD** [Intro - Discord Join Tones - Vinyl Crackle] Tripp connected. [One-Shot: “TRIPP!”] KennyB connected. [One-Shot: “MORE BASS!”] Katana connected. [Metallic Slice] Cardinal connected. [Church Bell - Record Scratch] Wait. Who invited everybody? [Four Voices] YOU DID! [Beat Ignition - Crooked Breakbeat - Chopped Bass] One stream. Four names. No rules. Bad aim. Tripp got the needle. Kenny brought bass. Katana cut the rhythm. Cardinal changed pace. [Hook - Stuttered Group Vocals] Tr-Tr-Tripp! Spin it right back! K-K-KennyB! Give it some slap! Ka-Ka-Katana! Cut through the track! Car-Car-Cardinal! What the hell was that? Four names! One room! Everybody talking- BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Four names! One stream! Nothing working properly- Exactly as it should be! [Verse 1 - Short Sampled Sentences] Tripp found a one-shot. Played it fourteen times. Kenny said, “It needs more bass.” Cardinal said, “Sounds fine.” Katana said, “Cut that part.” Tripp cut the entire song. Five full seconds passed- Then the microwave came on. [Microwave Beep Loop] Beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. [Vinyl Scratch] Who sampled the kitchen? Tripp. Who turned it up? Kenny. Who chopped it clean? Katana. Who added church bells? Cardinal. [Church Bell Drop] Of course he did. [Chorus - Heavy Bass - Scratch Cuts] Tripp went haywire! Kenny pushed the sound! Katana sliced the rhythm- Till the beat fell down! Cardinal arrived- With a bell in either hand! Now the four of them are missing- Down in La La Land! Tripp-Tripp! Kenny-Kenny! Katana! Cardinal! Turn it! Break it! Cut it! LET IT FALL! [Turntablism Break - Name Scratching] Tr-Tr-Tr-Tripp! Ken-Ken-KennyB! Ka-Ta-Na! Car-Di-Nal! [Rapid Scratches] Tripp-Kenny-Katana-Cardinal! Tripp-Kenny-Katana-Cardinal! Tripp-Kenny-Ka-Ka- SYSTEM FAILURE! [Verse 2 - Funk Bass - Spoken Exchanges] [KennyB] More bass. [Tripp] Already did. [KennyB] More. [Tripp] You’ll blow the stream apart. [Katana] Cut the talking. [Cardinal] Add a choir. [Everyone] Why? [Cardinal] Because the room requires one. [One-Shot Choir] AHHH! [Hard Stop] Nope. [Record Rewind] Bring that back. [One-Shot Choir - Distorted] A-A-A-A-AHHH! [Beat Returns] Katana cuts left. Katana cuts right. Tripp scratches circles- Through the middle of the night. Kenny shakes the speakers. Cardinal rings the bell. Nobody knows the destination- But the journey’s going well. [Pre-Drop - Four-Way Roll Call] Who runs the decks? TRIPP! Who demands the bass? KENNYB! Who cuts the mix? KATANA! Who makes it strange? CARDINAL! Who’s responsible? [Silence] Nobody. Perfect. [Massive Drop - Double-Time Breakbeats] TRIPP WENT HAYWIRE! KENNY TURNED IT LOUD! KATANA CUT THE BREAKBEAT! CARDINAL FOUND A CROWD! Four names in the soundboard! Four hands in the jam! Discord barely holding- Down in La La Land! [Glitch Breakdown - Micro-Loops] Trippy-Trippy- Kenny-Kenny- Cut it-cut it- Ring it-ring it- Scratch! Bass! Slice! Bell! Scratch-bass-slice-bell! Scratch-bass-slice-bell! SCR-SCR-SCR- [Audio Buffering] Your stream is experiencing- Too many personalities. [Verse 3 - Half-Time Funk] Every week the stream goes live. Every week they all arrive. Tripp pretends he has control. Nobody believes him anymore. KennyB brings another track. Katana chops and sends it back. Cardinal drops something absurd. Then Tripp samples every word. Word-word-word- Every word. Bird-bird-bird- That wasn’t the word. [One-Shot: Cardinal Laughing] Use it anyway. [Final Chorus - Maximum Soundboard Meltdown] Tripp went haywire! Kenny brought the bass! Katana cut the rhythm- Into pieces all over the place! Cardinal went wandering- With a bell in either hand! Now the whole damn stream is dancing- Down in La La Land! Tr-Tr-Tripp! K-K-KennyB! Ka-Ka-Katana! Cardinal insanity! Four names! One stream! Four completely different schemes! Turn it! Break it! Cut it! Ring it! Nobody stop until Tripp starts singing! [Tripp - Badly Sung One-Shot] LAAAAA LA LA LAAAAA! [Everyone] TURN HIS MIC OFF! [Outro - Beat Falling Apart] Tripp disconnected. [Power Glitch] KennyB still typing. “More bass.” Katana still cutting. [Metallic Slice] Cardinal still ringing that bell. [Church Bell] Guys... The stream is over. [One-Shot: “AGAIN!”] Same time next week? [Four Voices] DAMN RIGHT. [Needle Lift]
