[Intro | theremin melody | 4 bars] [Breakbeat enters | funky organ | brass] [Club PA | spoken | tinny overhead speaker | slapback] Ladies, gentlemen, and unidentified bipeds... Welcome to the Cryptid Shuffle. No cameras. No evidence. And absolutely no refunds. [Instrumental reset | 2 bars | theremin answers bass] [Verse 1 | clean lead] Bigfoot came down from the Evergreen State, Size seventeen shoes, always fashionably late. Hit the dance floor, put a crack in the tile, Said, "I haven't been photographed in quite a while!" Mothman rolled in with his big red eyes, Saw the disco ball and forgot how to fly. Hit the ceiling, took the lighting rig down, Still got a standing ovation from the whole darn town! [Theremin swoop | short horn reply] [Pre-Chorus | bass drops low | handclaps] There's something in the woods, Something in the street. Something in the shadows With a whole lotta feet! [Ghost choir | distant airy harmonies | sung] Ooooh... they're coming out tonight! [Chorus | clean lead | chopped brass] Cryptid Shuffle! (Hey!) Out of the woods! Cryptid Shuffle! (Woo!) Up to no good! Stomp two, glide one, let the whole floor move! Nobody's got proof, but everybody's got moves! [Ghost choir | distant harmony | reverb] Ooooh, everybody's got moves! [Chorus | lead and crowd] Cryptid Shuffle! (Hey!) All night long! Cryptid Shuffle! (Woo!) Everybody get strange! From the swamp to the mountains, from the coast to the moon, They're all getting down to the Cryptid tune! [Theremin hook | 4 bars | syncopated synth bass] [Verse 2 | rhythmic singing | funky guitar] Jersey Devil came in with a dangerous grin, Tried to pay his cover with a bag full of tin. Hooves on the hardwood, wings in the air, Knocked over the punch and a folding chair! Skunk Ape from Florida had a brand-new suit, Walked through the door in his dancing boots. Said, "Everybody make room! I'm ready to swing!" They cleared out the floor before he did a thing! [DJ mic | spoken | bandpass | slapback] Management says that's a natural fragrance! [Instrumental break | wah guitar | theremin pitch dive] [Verse 3 | clear rhythmic singing] Loveland Frogman came hopping through, Bright green jacket and some blue suede shoes. Jumped in the punch bowl, splashed half the room, Said, "It's a pool party now!" and resumed his groove! [Club PA | spoken | tinny ceiling speaker] Attention, please. The punch bowl is NOT a swimming pool. Thank you. [Instrumental reset | 2 bars | organ riff] [Verse 3 | clean lead] Then Fresno sent a fellow in a ghost-white pair, Just a couple walking legs with nothing else there. No hands to clap, no face to grin, But the minute that he moved, the whole crowd joined in! [Chorus | full breakbeat | clean lead | crowd shouts] Cryptid Shuffle! (Hey!) Out of the woods! Cryptid Shuffle! (Woo!) Up to no good! Stomp two, glide one, let the whole floor move! Nobody's got proof, but everybody's got moves! [Ghost choir | airy echo] Ooooh, everybody's got moves! [Dance battle | 12 bars] [Bigfoot stomp groove | distorted bass] [Nightcrawler nimble synth | chopped brass] [Theremin solo | swooping funk phrases] [Full breakbeat returns | horn punches] [Bridge | half-time funk | dry spoken rhythm] Bigfoot had the power. Mothman had the flair. Jersey had the fancy footwork. And the Frogman had... wet hair. But the Nightcrawler? Oh, the Nightcrawler... [Theremin rising glide | brass stab] That boy was nothing BUT footwork! [Verse 4 | full melodic singing | dry lead] Rougarou came dancing straight outta the bayou, Spinning like a hurricane in his Sunday shoes. Roswell's little greys pulled up in a saucer, Asked the DJ if he took requests from their father! One last call and the whole place shook, Even the Jersey Devil stopped to take a look. The Nightcrawler slid across the ballroom floor, And the whole crowd shouted, "ONE MORE! ONE MORE!" [Female police radio | spoken | narrow-band] All units, be advised. Reports of unidentified footwork at the county line. [Instrumental reset | 2 bars | theremin pickup] [Final Chorus | lead vocal | ghost harmonies] Cryptid Shuffle! (Hey!) Out of the woods! Cryptid Shuffle! (Woo!) Up to no good! Stomp two, glide one, let the whole floor move! Nobody's got proof, but everybody's got moves! [Ghost choir | layered distant voices | sung] Ooooh, everybody's got moves! [Final Chorus | lead and crowd] Cryptid Shuffle! (Hey!) All night long! Cryptid Shuffle! (Woo!) Everybody get strange! From the swamp to the mountains, from the coast to the moon, They're all getting down to the Cryptid tune! [Outro | bass groove | theremin glides] [MC | spoken | dry close mic] The sheriff showed up at a quarter to three. [Male sheriff megaphone | spoken | gritty] Anybody seen something unusual? [Instrumental fill | 1 bar] [MC | spoken | dry close mic] No, sir. Just a couple of suspicious pants. [Final bass hit | brass stab | theremin tail]
