Megan, we adored you. There's no softer way to say How completely we believed in you, How incredible you were Inside the picture that we carried And on that pedestal we built for you, You could do no wrong. We praised the way you raised your children, Saw only the goodness in your home. Talked about things we loved in you When you weren't there to know. There were flaws, but we didn't see them. There were cracks, we looked beyond. Maybe love had put the blinders on. But we were happy With them there We put you on a pedestal, So high we couldn't see The ordinary human imperfections Underneath our image of who you'd be. We didn't look for cracks or shadows. We loved the woman we believed you were. Maybe no one belongs on pedestals. Maybe that's where we went wrong. But we never dreamed How hard that pedestal could fall. Then came that night in November. And I still remember your face. The anger there was something I had never seen in its place. The words came hard and cutting, Things I couldn't imagine saying To my husband's parents— No matter how angry I became. I looked at you And couldn't find The woman I thought I knew. And somewhere in that awful moment, The pedestal fell too. It wasn't just the things you said to me. It was the way they left your mouth. The contempt I felt directed at me, The fury pouring out. Maybe you remember differently. That's yours. This memory is ours. I only know I'd never seen you Look at anyone that way before that night. And I cannot make myself unsee it. I've tried. Down came the pedestal, And something else fell too— The picture we'd been carrying Of everything we thought we knew. The blinders hit the floor beside it. And suddenly we could see Things we'd overlooked for years Because we'd loved you generously. They had always been there. Love had softened every flaw. But once the pedestal was broken, We couldn't put it back at all. And that's the saddest part, I think. It changed the years behind. Because once we saw you differently, Other memories changed in kind. Things we'd once explained with kindness Suddenly looked different too. Moments we'd dismissed or overlooked Came sharply into view. I wish that hadn't happened. I wish the good could have stayed Untouched by what came after. But that's another thing That night took away. And maybe that's why pedestals Are dangerous places to stand. Nobody is all wonderful. Nobody is all bad. You were never as perfect As we believed you were. And maybe you're not as terrible As that November night now makes you seem. Both things can be true. But there's a difference Between knowing that in my head And being ready To let you near my heart again. I'm not there. I can forgive you from a distance. Maybe that's where forgiveness starts. Not pretending I want you near me. Not reopening my heart. Not telling myself that what I witnessed Didn't change the way I see. Forgiveness doesn't have to mean You get the same access to me. You're not my child. And maybe that makes walking away Easier than it should. I don't know what time will change someday. I only know what I can do today. So I'm leaving the pedestal broken. I won't rebuild it ever again. I won't make you perfect in my memories, And I'll try not to make you evil at your core. I'll remember that we loved you. That part was absolutely true. I'll try to remember there was goodness In the woman that we knew. And I'll remember one November night When something changed inside of me— When the blinders fell, The pedestal broke, And I saw something I cannot unsee. Maybe time will soften it. Maybe someday I'll remember your face Before I remember that face. Maybe someday I'll want something different. I don't know. But forgiveness doesn't require me To know the ending today. So I'll forgive As best I can. I'll leave tomorrow For another day. And the pedestal? It can stay right where it fell.
